Building a Strong Sisterhood

In Torah Observant Shuls the roles of men and women are different in terms of participation in davening. Specifically the men and women sections are separate and women don’t lead the davening, read from the Torah or take other active roles in the service. Most women come to Shul on Rosh Hoshana, Yom Kippur, Purim, many come on Shabbos and Yom Tov, and very few come to the weekday services. In most Torah Observant Shuls, men are more active in learning activities and in the financial and day to day operations of the Shul. (Note: there is a wide variance in what form this takes depending on the community and the Shul.)

In light of these differences, a Sisterhood, Women’s Auxiliary or Women’s League is often created to address their specific needs and to give them opportunities to plan and run activities important to them. One of the first issues that arises is how the Sisterhood activities are financed. The alternatives are allocating a portion of the Shul budget or running fundraising activities specifically for the Sisterhood. The benefits of fundraising is that it provides autonomy, while the downside is that profitable fundraisers must be identified and implemented.

Another area of interest is what type of activities will the Sisterhood focus on. Much of that depends on what the Shul is already providing. Activities might include shiurim for women, women’s only social events and children’s events. In Shuls where the Sisterhood has formidable fundraising abilities, activities might also include improving areas of the Shul with special concern to women.

One last area is the degree of autonomy. My experience is that a high degree autonomy is preferred with coordination and support from the Shul Administration being provided when needed. If there is a separate significant budget, it is important to define the fiduciary responsibilities and financial procedures of the administration of the Sisterhood.

Ten Great Things About Praying At the Kotel

Greetings from the Holy Land. Here are 10 great things about praying at the kotel.

1. There are minyanim around the clock.

2. You’re standing right near the awesomeness of the Har Habayis.

3. The feeling of achdus as a result of davening with so many different types of Jews is palpable.

4. There are so many serious daveners around to inspire us to take our tefillah higher.

5. There is an elevated feeling of holiness there.

6. The silent Shomoneh Esrai for Mincha/Maariv is around 9 minutes, compared to about 6 minute silent Shomoneh Esrai in the states.

7. It’s much easier to observe the halacha of picturing yourself in the Holy of Holies.

8. People don’t pressure the Baal Tefillah to go faster or slower.

9. People are helpful and accommodating.

10. It’s easier learn how to get past distractions and focus on your davening.

Beyond Prayer – A Fountain of Chesed

Beyond Prayer
As we’ve mentioned previously, Shuls are essential for communal prayer, but their importance as an avenue for Chesed can not be overstated. Without getting into a discussion of the differences between Shuls and communities, it’s clear that much of the person-to-person caring occurs in the Shul setting. Although we lead busy lives, there are so many valuable opportunities to help our friends and develop deeper relationships with acquaintances.

Times of Need
The loss of a close relative is a very difficult time and showing we care by paying a Shiva visit, cooking or helping to make a minyan means a lot to the mourner. We don’t have to be close friends and the person will be thankful for a lifetime.

When someone’s sick, receiving calls and visitors means a lot, as this chesed is usually taken on by a smaller portion of the Shul. It’s generally a good idea to call ahead to see if the person is up to visitors.

Simchos
Joyful times are even better when they are shared. When we’re invited to a wedding, it’s a good practice to make every effort to attend at least a part of it. Sometimes we make calculations of why we were invited, or that it’s not really necessary to go, but a good rule of thumb is to assume the person invited us because they wanted us to be there.

The birth of a baby is also an opportunity to show we care. Coming out on a Friday night for the Shalom Zucher means a lot to the family and it’s a time where our only obstacle is usually the inviting couch or bed. When we’re uncomfortable sitting for the meal, we can still daven at the Shul and watch the Bris itself.

Advice, Jobs, Shidduchim
Giving advice is another great way of connecting to our co-members. Whether it’s a plumber, a doctor, or a school, your opinion is valuable. If you have expertise in a subject, it’s even better.

Helping someone find a job or a shidduch are two of the greatest cheseds we can perform. Keeping our ears open and emailing or phoning any lead is really all that’s required. We sometimes refrain from getting involved because of the infrequency of success in these areas, but the person is thankful regardless of the results as our efforts demonstrate that we care.

Just Plain Shmoozing
Shmoozing is one of the most underestimated Chassadim. Our weeks are filled with work and obligations and asking someone how they’re doing and sharing a good word on Shabbos restores the equilibrium that we all need. This is one area where it’s helpful to break out of our comfort zones and reach out to people with whom we’re not so close. Not everybody has the same social circles, but everybody does have the need to feel recognized and cared about. It takes just a few seconds and it means a lot to most people.

Shuls are fountains of kindness and we can all drink and contribute to the flow.

Originally Published Jan 17, 2012