Month: November 2017

Slow Down, You Pray Too Fast, Got to Make the Service Last Now…

A friend recently asked “Why do we often say Brochos quickly?”.
The Mesillas Yesharim helps to explain why, and provides a practical path to the remedy.

In the introduction, the Ramchal points out that serving Hashem is not a natural and automatic process, like eating and sleeping. Therefore, we have to first learn what it means to serve Hashem. Then we need to make a serious concerted effort to improve and reach adequate levels of service, since this is the reason why we were created.

The basis of our service of Hashem, is Deutoronomy 10:12 in Parshas Eikev: “And now, Israel, what does Hashem, your God, ask of you? Only…
– to fear (be in awe of) Hashem, your God,
– to go in His ways,
– to love Him,
– to serve Hashem, your God, with all your heart and all your soul,
– to observe the commandments of Hashem and His decrees, which I command you today, for your benefit. “

The Ramchal writes about each of these components, beginning with the loftiest, summarized as follows:
1) fear (awe) of Hashem – like we would fear (be in awe of) a great and awesome king;
2) walking in His ways – refining character traits and reducing self-centeredness, leading to improved relationships;
3) love – in our heart, and being inspired to please Him, like we would want to please our parents;
4) wholeheartedness – doing mitzvos with a focus on serving and connecting to Hashem, with devotion, not by rote; and
5) observance of all the mitzvos – with all their fine points and conditions.

The reason why we say Brochos quickly is that we are focused on the what of the mitzvah, which is just saying it. However, to serve Hashem properly, we need to also focus on the why – consciously connecting to Hashem through the mitzvos, and the how — doing the mitzvos wholeheartedly, with love, without self-centeredness, and with fear.

Improving our service is a process.
A good place to begin this process is by saying one Brocha each day with more focus.

This is what we can focus on when we say a Brocha:
“Baruch” makes us aware that Hashem is the source of all blessing.
“Atah” focuses us on the fact that we’re talking directly to Hashem.
“Hashem” in it’s Yud Kei Vav Kei form, signifies that Hashem always existed and is the source of our existence.
“Elokeinu” says that He is the ultimate authority over all physical and spiritual creations.
“Melech” brings that authority to a more concrete Kingship.
“HaOlam” recognizes that His Kingship extends to the entire universe.

We should share many simchos and continue to travel together on the path of improving our Service of Hashem.

In honor of the upcoming wedding of my daughter.

The Shul Newsletter and Membership Privileges

A friend recently asked whether he can get on our Shul’s mailing list to receive our newsletter. I told him that only members are on the mailing list. He raised his eyebrows a bit and he didn’t seem interested in Shul Types, Authority and Financial Strategies, so I didn’t explain the underpinnings of this policy. So let me lay it out briefly here.

A large part of our Shul’s revenues come from the members in the form of membership dues, high holiday seats and dinner donations. In exchange for membership, privileges include:
– priority on the Rabbi’s time when asking questions
– seating on Shabbos
– Chesed committee benefits including meals for births, during aveilus and in other times of need
– the intangible benefit of belonging to a group who shares their values in Torah, Avodah, Gemilas Chasadim and Eretz Yisroel.
– the weekly newsletter which primarily details Shul events and member related announcements

And if you’ll ask, isn’t it better for the Shul if more people know about it’s activities? I would answer that:
– community-relevant information is publicized on other channels
– we don’t think the newsletter attracts new members or significant donations
– we think there’s value to keeping the newsletter a private privilege for members only
– there’s increased privacy in keeping the information among the members

Although reasonable people may come to a different decision regarding the Shul Newsletter, I think the policy we have makes sense for our Shul at this time.

A Tale of Ten Tablecloths

It seemed like a no-brainer. A visitor to our Hashkama minyan felt the davening would be enhanced if the folding tables were covered with white tablecloths. So he went out and bought 10 white tablecloths and dropped them off in the Shul.

The new tablecloths created a few small logistics problems: they need to be put on the tables; they need to be folded after the minyan; they need to be stored somewhere in our tight-for-storage Shul; they need to be cleaned periodically; and these responsibilities fall unexpectedly on the minyan Gabbai.

The larger issue is that enhancements and donations to the Shul need to be managed by a process which is administered by the officers, boards and members responsible for the care and feeding of the Shul. It needn’t be complicated, but there needs to be points of responsibility and determination of need.

This incident highlights a large point about chesed. Chesed is giving a person (or a Shul) what they really need, not necessarily what you think they need. That is why it makes a lot of sense to ask the appropriate Shul contacts when you want to make a non-cash donation. Does that make sense?

Understanding Your Shul President

Being a Shul President is taxing, tiring and consuming. If you understand the trials and tribulations of the president you can help your shul, yourself and of course, the president. Although there are Shuls with female presidents, I’ll use the pronoun he in this article for ease of writing and reading.

Leader
Shuls have an interesting configuration in the partnership between the Rabbi and the President. The Rabbi is hopefully the undisputed spiritual leader, while the president is responsible for the non-spiritual needs, in addition to supporting the Rabbi in all matters. If the Rabbi and the president are not working well together, trouble is sure to follow.

In regard to the lay leadership, the overall mission of a Shul as a place for prayer, learning and loving-kindness are set, however some shuls do add new mission ingredients to the standard mix. Leadership abilities definitely come into play when handling special projects like a new building or when handling crisis situations.

The overall key to leadership is seeing the big picture. There’ll be a lot of issues and problems that come up day to day, but a focus on the mission, which includes providing a peaceful place for the members to daven, learn and help each other must always be upfront. The president is there to serve the members and he must always keep that in mind, especially if a member gets hot under the collar. It’s not a reciprocal relationship and that can sometimes make it difficult.

Manager
Management is a key presidential skill. There are numerous things that need to be taken care of on a weekly basis and the buck stops with the president. He’s the one who’s responsible. A president can sometimes get away with being a so-so manager if he has some good people under him that get things done.

The president also has to manage those who do volunteer to work on shul affairs. The general rule of thumb is to let those who volunteer have the space to do the job in the manner they see fit. Sometimes this might result in lesser success, but in the long run it benefits the Shul. The president needs to be aware of what’s going on in each area and to support the shul volunteers in the roles they assume.

Governor
The president is the governor of the Shul and needs to develop that talent. There are a lot of decisions that have to be made and then enacted. It’s important for the president to depend on the membership to help govern. Talking out issues with the members, understanding the various points of view, clearly spelling out their thinking on every subject, getting feedback and then making a decision and going forward. If the president works with the membership, the right decision will be made more often and there will be less difficulty administering the results.

Peacemaker
Perhaps the most difficult yet important role is the president as peacemaker. He must truly hear and understand each member’s point of view, even if he might disagree. Even when the president is quite sure the member is wrong on a particular issue, he must still try to make peace and try to satisfy the member in whatever way possible. This can be very difficult, but when it comes to the successful care and feeding of a Shul, shalom trumps emes (peace overrides truth).

Member to member conflicts can be even more difficult and the president has to develop the skills of Aaron HaKohen a renowned peacemaker. It’s not easy, but when members see that the president does truly care about them, they will be more successful in their peacemaker role.

Summary
Of course there’s much more to say about this subject, but just as a president must understand his members’ attention spans when it comes to the Shabbos announcements, so to a web writer must understand the attention allocation of his readers.

It’s hard to find the highly developed qualities of leader, manager, governor and peacemaker in one person, so cut your president some slack. If you do accept the wonderful responsibility of being shul president, you can surely grow from the effort.

(Published in honor of EH)