Month: June 2020

A New Normal That Truly Rocks

It’s inspiring to envision the thousands of people who are reentering their Shuls with a renewed committment. They’re not talking during davening. They’re turning off their cell phones. They’re working hard on increasing their kavanna while saying their prayers.

This renewal was born in the weeks that we spent davening alone. Even if there were some aspects of davening alone that we might have enjoyed, we still longed to go back to Shul. And when that longing was fulfilled, we did our part and stepped up our game.

There’s also feeling of renewed connection with our fellow daveners. We’re still in small minyanim, where each person counts even more. We look around and we see the same faces each day. This is our minyan. We’re truly a Tzibbur. As the minyanim get larger, we’ll take this connection with us.

I don’t know why Hashem brought Covid-19. What I do know, is that so many people in Klal Yisroel are using the new norm, to go beyond their old norms. For Klal Yisroel, our new normal truly rocks.

The “Start the Connection” Movement

There have been many worthwhile Shul focused movements that have come out of the Coronavirus: “Stop the Talking”, “Stop the Cell Phones”, and “Stop Talking to Your Friends Before Davening”. They all make sense after all, since nobody wants talking or cell phones going off during Shemoneh Esrai. But maybe after putting our lives on stop for so long, we need a different kind of movement. I’d like to offer an alternative, which I called the “Start the Connection” movement.

“Start the Connection” has two components, connecting to people and connecting to Hashem. When you enter your Shul focus on the fact that you’re here to connect. The first connection is to your fellow daveners. Smile at them. Your mask may cover your mouth, but they will detect the smile in your eyes. And the smile will enhance your connection towards them.

After the smile, ask someone how they’re doing. Or ask them how their day was. Listen to their response. Perhaps ask a follow up question. Feel and show your concern for them. It means a lot to people, especially after the isolation we’ve been experiencing for so many months.

If your minhag is never to talk in Shul, try to catch somebody before they enter. If your Shul is trying to impose new beyond-the-halacha prohibitions, speak to your Rav. Tell him you truly want to deepen your connections to your fellow Jews. Ask him whether the positive commandment of trying to Love Your Fellow Jew might possibly outweigh a newly imposed prohibition. Be prepared to lose this battle, but continue to try increasing your love and connection for your fellow Jew.

The connection to Hashem component has more inherent difficulties. We know our kavanna is probably not where we want it to be, and now the minyan is probably shorter and faster. The key here is to “start” the connection. Start small. During the Shema and during the first Brocha of Shemoneh Esrai, think about Hashem when you say His name. Think that He is the source of all existence, and that He is the master of all.

The “Start the Connection” movement has two simple suggestions: 1) Improving your connection to people when you see them, 2) Improving your connection to Hashem when you say His name. Please join us.

A Taste of Belonging

When you live in a town with many Shuls, and many people, it’s understandable to think that the Shuls don’t really need me, so I’ll just choose what works best for me. Perhaps this is a contributing factor to the continuing diminishment of the importance of Shuls in our lives. Or perhaps in the larger communities, we’ve always had only 10% to 20% who were strongly committed to their Shuls.

Covid-19 has certainly changed the dynamics. For many weeks we were Shuls of one, so if you didn’t show up, there was no davening (haha). And with the partial return of our minyanim, we are Shuls, or driveways, of ten. With these smaller counts, everybody is needed to make the minyan. In my neighborhood, people have stepped up to the plate, and are making and keeping their commitment to their minyanim.

Perhaps being needed will create a sense of belonging, and when we make a fuller Shul return, people will look for opportunities to belong, and become more committed and involved. Or perhaps we’ll go back to our old norms, and we won’t ask what we can do for our Shul, rather we’ll ask what has our Shul done for us lately.

I’m not sure whether we’ll see permanent changes, but at least we can enjoy the increased commitment in our current situation, and the increased achdus that it brings in its wake.