Month: December 2020

Shuls at their Best – A Shlishi to Remember

The following story occurred 22 years ago and Eugene calls me every year to relive the joy of that moment. It highlights some of the heights a Shul can reach.

It was the beginning of December 1998 and the Shul was in the midst of a fantastic Simcha streak. Since we moved in to the new building in August, almost every Shabbos had a Mazel Tov, whether it be a new baby, a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, an engagement, an Aufruf or a Wedding. It was a great time to be a member.

As I left for Daf Yomi, my wife asked me if there was anything special going on in Shul this Shabbos. I told her, “Not this week”. As I arrived at Shul, I saw Eugene leaving the Shul with a big smile on his face. I asked him what he was doing at Shul an hour early. He told me he had to take a walk and get some exercise as per Doctor’s orders.

Davening proceeded nicely at its normal pace. After the Kohen Aliyah, Chaim K was called up as a Chassan in honor of his recent marriage to Esther G. Then came a Shlishi to remember.

The Gabbai called up HaChasan Yerucham Avraham Ben Yehuda Tuvia. HaChasan? Everybody looked at each other asking the same question, “Did you know?” But nobody knew.

During the course of the Aliyah it was confirmed, Eugene was a Chasan. He had managed to keep it a secret from everybody. A tremendous feeling of joy overcame us. After the Misheberach, somebody grabbed my hand and said let’s dance. In just a few seconds, we were all circling the Bimah singing Siman Tov and Mazel Tov. It was a sight to behold.

The feelings of joy continued through the rest of davening. The entire Shul was giddy. After davening, everybody was anxious to share the good news with whomever they could find. Somebody remarked that this was one of the top ten moments in our Shul history. We’ll be having a contest as to what the other nine events were. In any case, this was right up there.

The Cell Phone of Zos Chanukah

It was Zos Chanukah and many people in our minyan were prepared for the more propitious davening that the Chassidic seforim discuss. As Neitz arrived, we stepped into Shemoneh Esrai in unison, each of us prepared to address Hashem with our own praise, personal requests and thanks. However, Hashem had a different Avodah in mind.

A few seconds into Shemoneh Esrai, a phone went off. It was a nice piano concerto type of ring, however the timing was awful. It stopped, and a few seconds later it continued. This repeated during the Shemoneh Esrai until the owner grabbed his belongings from a chair and removed them from the Beis Medrash.

What had happened was that a guest had put his things on a chair and put on his talis and tefillin. The seating Gabbai found him a better seat in the corner and he left his things, including the phone, on the chair. When the phone went off the guest wasn’t sure if he was allowed to interrupt his Shemoneh Esrai and walk in front of people to get his phone to turn it off. (Most people with whom I spoke thought that he should have gone to the phone and shut it off.)

In terms of the Shul, the Avodah was overwhelmingly positive. Not a NU was heard in the entire Tzibbur. There was no after-davening reminder by the Gabbai to turn off your phones, which could have led to further embarrassment. The guest offered to apologize and ask for mechila from the Tzibbur, but the Gabbai said it was not necessary. And a post-minyan halachic discussion ensued on what was the correct response.

Zos Chanukah – This is Chanukah – serving Hashem with all our kochos.

Praise and Thanks For Our Shuls on Chanukah

In the Al hanissim addition on Chanukah we say “they established these eight days to thank and praise Your great name”! It’s a holiday of thankful prayer to Hashem, specifically full Hallel for 8 days.

Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss points out that “the prayer prescription of Chanukah is unique! Unlike all the other festivals, when we feverishly petition Hashem for our needs (i.e., Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur for our very lives, Succoth for water, Pesach for the crops, Shavuos for the trees), on Chanukah we put the emphasis on saying “Thank You!”—”l’hodos u’l’hallel”! A time of unselfish expression of gratitude to our creator!”

And the primary place of our praise and thanks is in the Shul. As the Ramban at the end of Parshas Bo writes “And the purpose of raising our voices in prayer and the purpose of Shuls and the merit of communal prayer is that people should have a place where they can gather and acknowledge that G-d created them and caused them to be and they can publicize this and declare before Him, “We are your creations”.

So it’s an appropriate time to step back from identifying and resolving the issues we confront here regularly and to focus on the unqualified praise and thanks that every Shul deserves.

Definitionally, praise is the expression of approval or admiration for someone or something, while thanks is the gratitude we express when something was done for our benefit.

Every Shul deserves praise. And by Shul I mean both those who run it and those who come to daven. We often take it for granted, but it’s no small thing to have a group come together on an daily or weekly basis to praise, thank and petition Hashem. Every person who comes to daven adds to the collective prayer experience. And those who keep the Shul running are to be praised for establishing and maintaining a place of prayer.

Thanks is often harder than praise, because at its root it’s an admission that we need someone else to provide us with that being provided. Giving thanks challenges our self-sufficiency and that’s one of the underlying reason many people have trouble expressing thanks. But if you allow yourself a moment of vulnerability you will clearly see that despite your neighborhood’s Shul options, the Shul you davened at this week, and last week, and the week before was the one that provided you with the lights, seats, Sefer Torah and service that enabled you to gather with a group of like minded Jews to pray. It’s the one that deserves your thanks.

Although the praise and thanks of Chanukah is primarily directed to Hashem, Hashem want us to improve our abilities in this area and to express praise and thanks in our day to day living. That’s why this a great time to allocate some of our thoughts to the praise and thanks of our Shuls on Chanukah.