February 2021 - Shul Politics

Covid Created Purim Opportunities

We are taught that “All Hashem does is for the good”, and this includes Covid. Let’s look at how that might apply to Purim.

Shaloch Manos
We are obligated to give two foods to one person. These foods gifts should be significant, but because we often choose to go wide instead of deep, we find ourselves giving a lot of smaller insignificant gifts to more people. This year Covid recommendations suggest cutting down on the number of gifts we give, so we can give use our Shaloch Manos funds for something significant. One year I gave a half-platter of Sushi and a bottle of Scotch to someone and it really made the impact that was intended with Shaloch Manos.

Megillah Reading
The absence of Hashem’s name in the Megillah teaches us that even when it’s not obvious, Hashem is the guardian of the Jewish People. However, Jewish Unity is a prerequisite for our ultimate salvation. We see that crucial unity develop in the Megillah. When you’re in Shul for the reading, look around and appreciate all your fellow Covid weary Jews, who have come together to publicize and recognize Hashem’s hidden miracles. Despite our differences, we are family!

Purim Seudah
Our goal is to Serve Hashem With Joy. If we’re not feeling the joy, then our service is lacking. Unfortunately the scourge of Covid has been a downer this year and it might also reduce the number of guests at our Seudah. The key is to focus on the people who are at our Seudah. How much we love them and how happy we are to be together with them. And how fortunate we are to be able to serve Hashem together by having a joyous time.

Covid creates opportunities for us to re-focus on all that we have and do. Let’s take advantage of it.
Chag Purim Sameach!

The Joy of Loving Your Shul

The Gemara in Taanis (29a) teaches us that Mishenichnas Adar Marbim B’simcha, when Adar begins we increase our happiness. Rashi comments that “Purim and Pesach were days of miracles for Yisrael” and therefore Adar and Nisan are joyous months. Let’s take a brief dive into the Torah concept of happiness so that we can maximize our joy during this wondeful time.

The Maharal in his commentary to Mishna 6.1 in Avos teaches that happiness flows from completion just as grief is the result of loss and deficiency. Happiness takes many forms. When we crave a favorite food, attaining it creates a sense of completeness, and generates happiness. Much of our lives is composed of wanting things, getting them, and achieving a small dose of happiness as a result. When we do the right thing in a difficult situation, we feel more complete in the use of our strengths and capabilities, and this generates happiness. When we feel connected to friends and family through the emotion we call love, we feel more complete and happy. The Chovos HaLevovos, the Mesillas Yesharim and the Rambam teach that love of Hashem generates the highest sense of completion and therefore the greatest pleasure and happiness.

The higher levels of happiness take more time and effort to attain, are deeper, and are high Torah priorities. “Loving Hashem” and “Loving Your Neighbor as Yourself” are two cornerstone mitzvos. When we appreciate the miracles that Hashem did for us on Purim and Pesach, we deepen our connection and love of Him, which increases our sense of completion and our happiness.

With regard to our Shul, we can appreciate that we are bound together in a common history, heritage and mission to bring Hashem’s presence into the world. If we consistently focus on this, we can feel the resulting sense of completion and happiness. Initially, it might not generate the same happiness as a Kiddush after davening. However, it we persist, and focus on the thoughts of connection and completion, we can acheive the Joy of Loving our Shul.

The Connection Power of the Kiddush

It’s no secret that a major part of Torah Judaism involves Bein Adam L’Chaveiro. Regarding the negative commandments, we need to avoid Lashon Hara, embarassing people, insulting people, taking revenge, holding a grudge, hating in our heart, etc… For the positive commandments, we need to give good advice, find people jobs, apartments, shidduchim, help them grow, and love our neighbors as ourselves, etc…

Our busy weekday lives often minimize our face to face contacts, but thankfully we have Shabbos, a time for God, family, and friends. The positive trend towards reducing conversation in Shul during davening, leaves the kiddush as the major time to build connection.

The food at the kiddush is the vessel over which we connect and too much focus on the food will reduce the positive social interaction. Three variables effect the connection-building capabilities: the number of people; whether it is sitting our standing; and whether it is in the Shul/social hall or in somebodies’ home.
– The more people at the kiddush, the more difficult it is to have a deeper and longer conversation.
– A sit down kiddush creates better connections than a standing one.
– A kiddush in a house is more intimate and connection building than one in the Shul/Social Hall.

The large stand up kiddush in the Shul is at the lower end of the connection-building scale, while a private sit-down kiddush in somebodies’ home creates a high-connection environment. Unfortunately, the sit-down kiddush in somebodies home is usually not a Shul event, it does not scale to Shul size, and it can create an air of exclusivity. The most practical alternative is a sit down kiddush in the Shul. If you scale down the menu to cracker, cookies, chips, dips and drinks, the sit down kiddush becomes more achievable.

Whatever the form, kiddushim are an important social component of your Shul. We hope and pray that the end of Covid will come soon and the Shul Kiddush in all its formats will return.