May 2021 - Shul Politics

Pardon Me, But You’re In My Seat

Many of us have faced at least one of these problems on a Shabbos morning:
-We’re guests in a Shul and we want to avoid taking somebody else’s seat
-We walk into our own Shul and somebody is sitting in our seat or our friend’s seat.

A Person Should Have a Fixed Seat for Prayer
We learn the requirement for a fixed place for prayer from Avraham who went to the same place to pray on a regular basis. The Shulchan Aruch (Halachos of Prayer 90:19) says that one should have a fixed Shul and a fixed place within that Shul to pray where possible. Within 6-8 feet of your seat is considered your fixed place.

The Shul Guarantees The Seat
Most people who daven regularly at a Shul want a fixed seat for both practical reasons and to satisfy the halacha. If there’s a membership charge, paying that charge usually guarantees a regular seat. When there’s no charge there’s often an understanding between the Rabbi and the Shul-regulars, that they will get a seat. A person who supports his Shul with his money or his attendance should be able to count on the Shul to provide him with his seat. Some Shuls have a seating Gabbai to fulfill this function.

No Formal Shul Process
In many Shuls, there’s no seating Gabbai and the members deal with the seating conflicts themselves. It can get tricky because we don’t want to embarrass somebody by asking them to move to a different seat. Although most people don’t want to take somebody else’s seat, people often get embarrassed when you ask them to move, even if they don’t show it. When there are Simchas like Bar Mitzvahs, many Shuls wave the fixed seat right to accommodate the expected guests of the Baal Simcha.

What to Do
-The first suggestion is to try to get to shul early or on time so nobody takes your seat.
-If someone is in your seat for whatever reason, take a seat within eight feet of yours and don’t ask the person to move. One caveat is that people can sometimes detect during the course of davening, that they’re in someone else’s seat and this can also be a source of embarrassment.
-Even if you can’t find a close seat, foregoing this halacha for this davening is better then embarrassing someone.
-Sometimes friends will protect each other’s seats, but that doesn’t really solve the embarrassment issue.
-If it’s known that a person is insistent on his seat and he might really embarrass the person that is sitting in it, it might make sense for another person to find the guest a different seat to minimize or eliminate the embarrassment.
-Try to direct a guest to an unoccupied seat before they get comfortable to avoid this problem.

Summary
Members have rights to their regular seats, but not at the cost of embarrassing guests. Try to be sensitive to both parties when resolving seating conflicts.

The Complexities of Complaints

In a post regarding the difference between a Minyan and a Tzibbur, I wrote: “A minyan is a place for davening, while a tzibbur is a place for people. … One of the main thing that distinguishes a minyan from a tzibbur are the complaints. … In a Tzibbur the members are the group and therefore they have a right to express their opinion, which are often perceived by the leadership as complaints. ”

The person who usually receives the most complaints is the President. Depending on their job, family and life situations, some Presidents spend more time in the Shul than others. If a President is in the Shul less often he will probably receive less complaints, because there is a whole class of minor complaints that people will make in person, but will not pick up the phone to pursue. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Let’s take a quick look at the complexities of complaints.

Less complaints are good because there will be less situations which can become major disagreements. In addition, each complaint is a challenge for the President, since he has to dignify each complaint and respond with respect to the complaining member – which sometimes can be challenging. Thirdly, many issues can’t be rectified because there are usually a number of factors why a given Shul Operation is administered in a certain way.

The first benefit of more complaints is that when people feel their voice is heard, they feel more connected to the Shul. Increased Shul connection benefits both the individual and the Shul. From a spiritual perspective, complaints give the administration the opportunity to increase their peace, love and understanding capabilities, and it’s a lot more difficult to Love Your Neighbor as Yourself when you’re being challenged on some issue. And lastly, if people don’t feel that they can express their complaints, resentments build.

If you didn’t like this post, please feel free to send your complaints my way.

Your Shul is an Awesome Place

I still remember last year hoping and praying that Governor Cuomo would allow our Shuls to reopen for Shavuos. And our prayers were answered. We had very limited size minyanim, outdoor minyanim, indoor minyanim, signup sheets, very short davening. Many Shuls around the world had similiar scenarios. Rabbis, gabbaim, officers and members have been working for well over a year to accomodate the varying needs of our Shuls as the face of Covid has changed.

I’ve heard from multiple sources that some people aren’t so anxious to return to their Shuls. They like the smaller, faster, seemingly safer, more personable, makeshift minyanim that were formed out of neccessity. That’s understandable. Covid forced us to change our Shul going experience and many have not yet returned to normal.

For those of us who are beginning to unmask to normalcy, it’s a good time to look around and see what an awesome place your Shul is. Look at your fellow members. Look at your Rav. Look at your officers and adminstrators. Listen to the davening. Listen to the leining. Do some learning. And every once in a while, look to Hashem and thank Him for placing you in such an awesome place.

Chag Sameach

Decision Making and Shul Structures

Shul Structure Guides Decision Process
The baseline services of every Shul includes communal prayer. So, decisions like seating, prayer leaders, prayer speed, prayer time, Torah readers, and Aliyah recipients will always need to be decided. Beyond that, the scope of the activities and the Shul’s financial and authority structure will guide the decision making process. The following is a general overview of typical shul structures and how they govern.

Democratic Shuls
In Democratic shuls, such as Young Israel and OU shuls, the membership assumes the financial responsibility. The Rabbi is paid a salary and is vested with a good deal of authority. There are many activities provided. There is usually a sisterhood that provides additional activities. There are by-laws, procedures, officers, a board of directors, committees and elections. The elections are usually rubber stamps of the election committee’s recommendations. Women are active. Policy decisions are distributed among the Rabbi, the officers, the gabbai, the board or the membership depending on the by-laws or policy. The president has significant responsibility and authority, and longer standing members and significant contributors are sometimes informally vested with more authority than the average member.

Independent Minyans
In independent minyans a small group of members assume the primary financial responsibility. A place to daven is the primary priority but other activities are sometimes provided. A Rabbi is sometimes hired. The financially responsible members have the primary authority. Women are sometimes involved. Shul policies and roles are sometimes formalized.

Shtiebels and Rabbi-centric Shuls
In Shtiebels and other Rabbi-centric Shuls, the founding Rabbi is the top authority. There are often shiurim for the members, but generally not so many activities beyond that. There is a Gabbai who assists in the day to day affairs. When the Shul assumes a degree of financial responsibility, donors will have some say. Women’s involvement is minimal. The priorities for leading the davening, getting Aliyahs and seating can sometimes be tricky because the Rabbi often chooses not to get involved and there is no formal mechanism to resolve conflicts.

Chabad Shuls
In Chabad shuls, the Rabbi is the top authority. There are usually many activities provided. A Gabbai often assists in the day to day affairs. The financial responsibility is assumed by the Rabbi but big donors will also have some say. Women are usually involved. The priorities for leading the davening, getting Aliyahs and seating are set by the Rabbi and carried out by the Gabbai.

Yeshiva Minyanim
In Yeshiva minyanim, the heads of the Yeshiva make the decisions and run the minyan as an extension of the Yeshiva. It would be a stretch to even call it a Shul. There are few outside activities other than davening. People who daven there make voluntary contributions and expect little input. There is very little politics. Women’s involvement is minimal. The heads of the Yeshiva make all the policy decisions.

Although the decision making process is a little stickier in Democratic Shuls, because of the involvement of more people, I think it is the best structure. More say means more involvement, and more involvement means that the members will get more out of their Shul experience. The major issue is that the authority of the Rabbi may be diminished in a democratic structure. However, a good Rabbi will have a strong influence on the important decisions and a well developed membership will look to their Rabbi for guidance. Unfortunately, I think the days of the Democratic Shul are numbered as people are prefering smaller Shuls which are primarily financed and governed by a smaller group of people.