Month: July 2021

Our Orthodox Life – Not to be Confused with a Netflix Series with a Similiar Name

To me the wonder of Orthodox Judaism is the ability to make connections. We can take a simple breakfast and with the right blessings and focus, we can use it to serve and connect to Hashem.

But it’s the connections to people that really awes me about Torah Judaism. Three times a day we gather with different groups of people and we spend 15 to 60 minutes praying to Hashem. We are creating an amazing act of collective spiritual in service in these minyanim. I was in Boro Park recently and I went into a Chassidish Steibel to daven Maariv. We were all on the same page despite the differences in our backgrounds. Just 10+ plus people trying to elevate our souls together.

At a recent wedding I witnessed a couple in their forties, marrying off their 1st child to a couple in their seventies, who were marrying off their 12th. I knew the parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles of the Kallah. While I had learned Torah with the uncles of the Choson as did two of my son-in-laws. The truth is that at every wedding, every person in the room is connected in joy and celebration with the new bride and groom. Our Orthodox lives are packed with shared joy.

And then comes Shabbos, where we get to connect and spend some pleasurable and spiritual quality time with our family and closest of friends. The best part of every week is connected to these special people in our homes and in our Shuls.

The Orthodox Life – what a truly wonderful life!

The Torah of Tisha B’Av

A unique aspect of Tisha B’Av is that you’re not allowed to learn many types of Torah, because learning Torah brings us joy. As the Shulchan Aruch points out: “One may not study Torah on Tisha B’Av except for melancholy passages in Torah texts, the laws of mourning and Tisha B’Av, and works of Musar (S.A.,O.Ĥ. 554:1; Y.O. 2:26).”

The irony of this is that in my Shul, more people pass through the doors to learn Torah on Tisha B’Av then any other day. Between the showings of the Chofetz Chaim Heritage videos, the Rav’s shiur, another live shiur, hundreds of people will pass through the doors of the Shul on this day. How are we to understand this?

First there are some practical factors as to why so many people attend shiurim on Tisha B’Av:
1) most people take the day off
2) there’s not much else to do which is in the spirit of the day
3) going to a shiur takes your mind off the hunger you might feel
4) after a few years, it’s become your routine on Tisha B’Av

From a spiritual perspective, one reason might be that although many of us have trouble actually shedding a tear for the destruction, we know at some level that something is missing in our lives. And we know at some level, that we’re all a part of the problem. It’s one day that many people take some responsibility for the less than perfect state the Jewish people are in. Hearing the mussar oriented shiurim on Tisha B’Av is our praiseworthy attempt at trying to do something about. On this day we’re all open to our faults and we’re ready to take a corrective step in the right direction.

The second reason is perhaps the spiritual power of communal Torah learning. The two primary communal spiritual activities are prayer and learning Torah. The power is so great that these spiritual activities are two that many of us can actually feel. When we’re most receptive to spiritual progress, like the Yomin Noraim and Tisha B’Av and we combine that with a communal spiritual activity like learning Torah, the overflowing of our Shuls on Tisha B’Av is understandable.

May we all grow from the tremendous power of the day and may our communal efforts lead us to an environment of even greater spiritual opportunities.

Judging Fast Daveners Favorably

By Todd Greenwald

Growing up my family davened at an orthodox shul, although we were more traditional. Every Motzae Yom Kippur, the shul asked the same person to daven maariv. Why? Because he was fast!! Back then it was great. After I became frum it bothered me greatly. We should be davening that first maariv after Yom Kippur slowly with much concentration. One Yom Kippur I remarked to my father how it bothered me. He related the following story about this gentleman:

“It was D-Day and this gentleman was off the boat and in the water approaching the beach. People from his platoon were being killed all around him. As he was moving to shore he prayed to Hashem and said, G-d if you get me out of here alive, I will go to shul every day for the rest of my life. My father told me that the man was true to his word and attends shul everyday.”

I was amazed at such an extraordinary feat. I wondered how Hashem received this man’s T’fillos as he fulfilled his daily obligation for close to 60 years. Whether he davened fast or slow, he lived up to his commitment until he recently passed away. I remember meeting him once in shul on a summer vacation and asked after his well being. He informed me that he had cancer and the chemo was rough but he still pushed himself to go to shul.

May we always judge people favorably and be inspired by this man’s remarkable commitment.

Originally Posted July 2014

The Three Weeks – All You Need is Love

The Need For Emotional Connection
The Mesillas Yesharim teaches us that the basis of our Service of Hashem, is Deutoronomy 10:12 in Parshas Eikev: “And now, Israel, what does Hashem, your God, ask of you?
– Only to fear (be in awe of) Hashem, your God,
– to go in all His ways,
– and to love Him,
– and to serve Hashem, your God, with all your heart and all your soul,
– to observe the commandments of Hashem and His decrees, which I command you today, for your benefit.

We are quite good at observing the commandments, but many of us have trouble with the emotional component, specifically that of loving Hashem. We know we are supposed to love Hashem, but do we actually experience that love emotionally?

Without a strong emotional connection to Hashem and Torah, our mitzvos become rote, our davening becomes rushed, and we look to our possessions, our vacations, our vocations, and the worlds of sports, entertainment, and social media for emotional stimulation. It’s very likely that the spiritual malaise effecting large segments of our community is a result of a lack of a strong emotional connection to Hashem and Torah.

How Can We Develop Love
Rabbi Yitzchok Kirzner zt”l taught that to develop our Love of Hashem, we should work on Loving Our Fellow Jew, which is a commandment in its own right.

Love means to have a strong emotional connection. Most people have a strong emotional connection with their spouses, their children and their parents. But when we walk into Shul, with how many people do we actually feel a strong emotional connection?

To develop our love of our fellow Jews, we can start by identifying and relating to their positive qualities. One such quality is that at the root of every Jew is a pure spiritual soul. Every Jew is part of the collective soul of the Jewish people which unites us all. Every Jew is a child of Hashem and is loved by Hashem. Every Jew in our community plays a part in creating an environment where we can grow through Torah and Mitzvos. And every Jew in our minyan, is instrumental in increasing the likelihood that Hashem will accept our Tefillos. We’ve identified a few positive qualities that give us the ammunition to develop our love.

Having identified the positive qualities, we have to actively and repeatedly think about and feel that we love our fellow Jews. Thinking that we love someone and trying to experience the emotion is instrumental in actually developing that love. We shouldn’t be sidetrack by the fact that we love our spouses, children and parents more then our Shul members. We are obligated to love every Jew and each Jew has inherent positive qualities that form the foundation of love.

Actively thinking about and trying to feel our love of our fellow Jews is critical to developing that emotional capacity – and using it to love Hashem. So on a regular basis we can look around our Shul, and think and try to feel how we love this person, and that person, etc..

Loving Hashem
When we develop the practice of experiencing emotional love on a regular basis, we can then use that capability to Love Hashem. Our prayer books are filled with praise of the positive qualities of Hashem which give us many reasons to love Him. We have to actively think about and feel how we love Hashem. It’s not enough to know it intellectually, we have to develop that love, by regularly thinking about and feeling our love for Him.

It’s interesting that Chazal have put a special focus in the Three Weeks on developing a Love of our fellow Jews. This is followed by the month of Elul, where we focus on Love of Hashem as indicated by ‘Ani L’Dodi V’Dodi Li’ – ‘I am for My Beloved and My Beloved is for Me’. Loving people and loving Hashem are commandments that are achievable. We can start on the right track every day in Shul with thoughts and feelings of Love. Don’t worry, nobody will know, but don’t be surprised if we start feeling them loving us back.