Forgiving “The Shul” on Yom Kippur

It sometimes happens that people have valid complaints against “The Shul”. “The Shul” didn’t appropriately announce a Mazal Tov. Or “The Shul” made another mistake with your bill. Or “The Shul” isn’t as friendly a place as it could be. Obviously their not complaining against the building, their complaining against the people running the Shul.

I think people should inform the appropriate parties when things aren’t right, but it might be worth keeping in mind that the people administering the operations of the Shul are volunteers, who collectively provide you services for no pay. In most Shuls only about 20% about the membership is involved to any significant degree, which makes the volunteers jobs even more commendable.

It’s probably too much to ask that people should think long and hard about the right way to phrase their complaints. Many reasons come to mind, “People pay dues for these services”, “The Shul made the mistake”, “People should take responsibility for the positions they take”, and the list goes on. Thank G-d there are exceptions. Many people show appreciation and are very hesitant to complain. But those who have spent significant time volunteering for “The Shul” will be well advised to expect to take heat for the mistakes they will make.

It’s Yom Kippur time and although some Shul administrations ask for a public forgiveness, others don’t. However there is a paragraph inserted in the Tefillah Zakkah, recited before Kol Nidrei at the request of the Chofetz Chaim in which we forgive everybody who has wronged us (without waving any financial damage we have incurred). This might be a good time to privately forgive “The Shul” for their sins of commission and omission. It will take a second and if you do it sincerely perhaps you’ll even reach the next level and come to appreciate all “The Shul” does for you.

Serving the Kings

Making Hashem Our King
Rosh Hashanah is approaching and it’s an opportunity for us to crown Hashem as our King. This is a difficult task because a King has absolute sovereignty and few people are willing to cede all their authority to Hashem.

Rabbi Noson Weisz provides a motivating thought by pointing out that Hashem is the Creator of the entire universe and He can do anything for us. He can make all our problems disappear and provide us with peace, prosperity and endless joy. However, since Hashem gives us free will, we are given the power to determine our spiritual and physical outcomes. Hashem can only provide His full providential assistance if we cede our sovereignty back to Him by making Him our King.

If we do truly cede control back to Him, Hashem’s Hashgachah Pratis will come into full swing bringing us the spiritual and material success for which we yearn. That’s the connection between making Hashem Our King and Our Judgement for the Year – if we truly accept Hashem as King, he will take care of us as only a King can. However, this is still a difficult task.

Making Our Friend Our King
Rabbi Aaron Feldman brings down a Magidda D’ R’ Meir (thought to be a baraisa), which says that one of the questions we will be asked in the World to Come is “Im Melachatcha Es Chaveiro Alecha” – Did you make your friend a King over you? Did you do Chessed for your friend? Did you serve your friend? Did you treat your friend as a King?

When we treat our friend, or our fellow Shul member as a King, we diminish our self-centered perspective. The same is true when we serve the Shul with pure motivations. This service is a mitzvah in its own right, but the accompanying diminishment of ego makes it easier for us to accept Hashem as King.

Perhaps you shul has a family that exemplifies this trait of treating a friend as a King. Watch them. Learn from them. Emulate them. May all of Klal Yisroel acquire this wonderful trait so that we can individually and collectively give Hashem the sovereignty to bring the Geulah.