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Happiness is a feeling of completion. When a person feels like they’re missing something, and then they get out of their lacking situation, they’re happy. The missing something can be a new house, a car, a vacation, or even that piece of chocolate that you want now.

A deeper sense of happiness is when we feel the completion with what we already have. That’s the happiness that comes from being with family, being with a loved one, or sitting in the Shul that you love.

The deepest level of happiness comes totally from within, it comes from a sense of being, not from having. It’s when we sense our own innate existence and we connect our existence to all of existence, and to the Creator of all existence. That’s the ultimate feeling of completion and happiness and it’s not dependent on anything we have or don’t have.

It’s hard to connect to our being, because in our world we are so focused on what we have, what we want, what we don’t have. The Purim story opens with the King of Persia throwing a massive 180 day party for all the people. The purpose of the party was to usher in a new world order of “having”, to replace a world of “being”. This is the world we live in today, one focused on “having” and not “being”.

On one level, the triumph of the Purim story is the defeat of the genocide promoting anti-Semite, Haman. The deeper victory is the fact that the Jews reconnected to a life of “being” and connecting to the Creator. As you know, G-d’s name is not written once in the entire Megillah, because His presence was not obviously manifested in the world. We live in that same world, where it’s often difficult to sense G-d’s presence and generate the joy of connecting to G-d, the source of all existence.

So when we hear the Megillah on Purim, we can connect to a deeper happiness. The Megillah helps us understand that there are no coincidences, only a Creator who is directing the crazy events in the world and in our lives, for our ultimate benefit. That ultimate benefit will come when we can connect to our own existence, and connect to the innate existence of others, and collectively connect to The Source of all existence. That is the ultimate happiness and completion, and we can all take a collective step in that direction in Shul next week.

Chag Someach – Happy Purim

Chanukah is a time of L’hodos U’l’hallel, To give thanks and praise to Hashem and we fulfill that obligation with the saying of the Full Hallel on Chanukah for all eight days. Here are some notes from Maharal: Emerging Patterns by Yaakov Rosenblatt on Hallel.

Give Praise Servants of Hashem from this time forth and forever more
Despite Hashem’s loftiness, He is still intimately involved with the life of man and continually bestows goodness through kindness, judgment or mercy.
He raise the needy from the dust is through judgment because the poor should be provided for.
To seat them with the nobles, nobles of His people is through kindness because although raising the poor out of poverty is just, elevating them to sit with nobles is an act of kindness.
He transforms the barren women into a joyful mother of children is an act of mercy since this women is not capable and therefore is not in the realm of judgment, nor is it kindness since children are not above and beyond human needs, rather it is mercy because even though this woman is unable to have children naturally, Hashem still allows her to conceive and bear children.

When Yisroel Went of out of Egypt, the House of Yaakov from a people of a Strange Language
After praising Hashem for His kindness through normal realms, we now praise Hashem for the miracles that transcend nature.
The sea saw and fled, the mountains skipped like rams, the hills like young sheep – water takes the shape of its container and the Earth is shaped by man. When Hashem acts and gives form and definition to all creation it is natural that the sea fled and the mountains skipped.
Hashem turned the rock into a pool of water, the flint into a fountain of waters – when Hashem is the force, even a rock is shaped effortlessly.

Not to us Hashem, but to Your Name Give Glory
This Psalm says the reason that Hashem performs miracles for the Jews is to give recognition to His name, His love and His truth. Only Hashem deserves this recognition and not things like idols which clearly have no power and are weaker than man. Man’s powers are listed in decreasing importance: speech, sight, hearing, smell, feeling, walking, and making sounds.

Hashem will Bless our Remembrance: He will Bless the House of Yisrael
Hashem will Bless our Remembrance requests that the lasting impact we will have on others and the world will be a blessing.
The Dead cannot praise Hashem, nor can any who go down into silence shows that only when the human body and the world are functioning properly can they “sing” the praises of Hashem. King David says allow us to live, allow us to thrive, so our very existence can proclaim your glory.

I love Hashem Who Hears my Voice and my Supplications
You have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. King David thanks Hashem for saving his soul which represents the spiritual, the eyes which are the connection between the spiritual and the physical because they do not actively enter the world, but monitor it for the mind/soul to process, and the feet which represent the physical. Tears represent a loss of part of the soul.

How can I repay Hashem for all His kindness to me?
I will carry the cup that You have filled with salvation, and call upon the name of Hashem – A cup that is filled represents ones meaningful accomplishments and we think Hashem for the ability to act in meaningful ways.
I will carry …in my arms to show the cup that you filled precedes me and proclaims your greatness
I will pay my vows to Hashem in the Presence of all His People to use every opportunity to proclaim the greatness of Hashem and to publicly honor Hashem’s glory

Give Thanks to Hashem for He is Good
Thanks also mean to concede, so to the extent that a person recognizes and acknowledges the Hashem has given him everything is the extent to which he will thank Him. Different groups: humanity, Jews, Kohanim and G-d fearing people, have experienced different benefits and will therefore thank Hashem differently.

Out of My Distress I called upon Hashem
There are three levels of hatred, basic dislike (all the nations) because of economic, cultural or military threats, dislike due to differences in values which only the Jews hold (they surrounded me) and deep seated hatred (they surrounded me like bees) due to the subconscious understanding that the success of the nations is dependent on the Jew’s failure. If we act according to our spiritual potential the world’s event will be centralized around us for our benefit. If we do not, we are punished and the the nations are successful.

O praise Hashem all you Nations
Hallelukah combines a word of praise with Hashem’s name and is used to praise the miraculous because the only the one who created the worlds (Heh – this world, Yud – the next) can suspend the rules to perform miracles when he sees fit.

It sometimes happens that people have valid complaints against “The Shul”. “The Shul” didn’t appropriately announce a Mazal Tov. Or “The Shul” made another mistake with your bill. Or “The Shul” isn’t as friendly a place as it could be. Obviously their not complaining against the building, their complaining against the people running the Shul.

I think people should inform the appropriate parties when things aren’t right, but it might be worth keeping in mind that the people administering the operations of the Shul are volunteers, who collectively provide you services for no pay. In most Shuls only about 20% about the membership is involved to any significant degree, which makes the volunteers jobs even more commendable.

It’s probably too much to ask that people should think long and hard about the right way to phrase their complaints. Many reasons come to mind, “People pay dues for these services”, “The Shul made the mistake”, “People should take responsibility for the positions they take”, and the list goes on. Thank G-d there are exceptions. Many people show appreciation and are very hesitant to complain. But those who have spent significant time volunteering for “The Shul” will be well advised to expect to take heat for the mistakes they will make.

It’s Yom Kippur time and although some Shul administrations ask for a public forgiveness, others don’t. However there is a paragraph inserted in the Tefillah Zakkah, recited before Kol Nidrei at the request of the Chofetz Chaim in which we forgive everybody who has wronged us (without waving any financial damage we have incurred). This might be a good time to privately forgive “The Shul” for their sins of commission and omission. It will take a second and if you do it sincerely perhaps you’ll even reach the next level and come to appreciate all “The Shul” does for you.

The Need For Emotional Connection

The Ramchal teaches us that the basis of our Service of Hashem is Devarim 10:12 in Parshas Eikev: “And now, Israel, what does Hashem, your God, ask of you?
– Only to fear (be in awe of) Hashem, your God,
– to walk in all His ways,
– to love Him,
– to serve Hashem, your God, with all your heart and all your soul,
– to observe the mitzvos of Hashem and His decrees, which I command you today, for your benefit.

We are quite good at doing the mitzvos, but many of us have trouble with the emotional components, specifically that of loving Hashem. We know we are supposed to love Hashem, but do we actually experience that love emotionally?

Without a strong emotional connection to Hashem, our mitzvos become rote, our davening becomes rushed, and we look to our possessions, our vacations, our vocations, and the worlds of sports, entertainment, and social media for emotional stimulation. It’s very possible the spiritual malaise effecting large segments of our community is a result of a lack of a strong emotional connection to Hashem and Torah.

How Can We Develop Love

Rabbi Yitzchok Kirzner zt”l taught that to develop our Love of Hashem, we should work on Loving Our Fellow Jew, which is a commandment in its own right.

Love means to have a strong emotional connection. Most people have a strong emotional connection with their spouses, their children and their parents. But when we walk into Shul, with how many people do we actually feel a strong emotional connection?

To develop our love of our fellow Jews, we have to identify and relate to their positive qualities. These positive qualities include:
– At the root of every Jew is a pure spiritual soul.
– Every Jew is part of the collective soul of the Jewish people which unites us all.
– Every Jew is a child of Hashem and is loved by Hashem.
– Every Jew in our community plays a part in creating an environment where we can grow through Torah and Mitzvos.
– Every Jew in our minyan, is instrumental in increasing the likelihood that Hashem will accept our Tefillos.
We’ve identified a few positive qualities that give us the ammunition to develop our love.

Think About It

Having identified the positive qualities, we have to actively and repeatedly think that we love our fellow Jews because of their qualities. Thinking that we love someone is instrumental in actually developing that love. We shouldn’t be sidetracked by the fact that we love our spouses, children and parents more then our Shul members. We are obligated to love every Jew and each Jew has inherent positive qualities that form the foundation of love as we’ve illustrated above.

Actively thinking about our love of our fellow Jews is critical to developing that emotional capacity – and using it to love Hashem. So on a regular basis we can look around our Shul, and think about how we love this person, and that person, etc..

Loving Hashem

When we develop the practice of experiencing emotional love on a regular basis, we can then use that capability to Love Hashem. Our prayer books are filled with praise of the positive qualities of Hashem which give us many reasons to love Him. We have to actively think about how we love Hashem. It’s not enough to know it intellectually, we have to develop that love, by regularly thinking and feeling that we love Hashem.

It’s interesting that Chazal have put a special focus in the Three Weeks on developing a love of our fellow Jews. This is followed by the month of Elul, where we focus on love of Hashem as indicated by ‘Ani L’Dodi V’Dodi Li’ – ‘I am for My Beloved and My Beloved is for Me’.

Loving people and loving Hashem are commandments that are achievable. We can start on the right track every day in Shul with thoughts of Love. Don’t worry, nobody will know, but don’t be surprised if we start feeling them loving us back.

Here are the last 27 Bein Adam LeChavero opportunities in Shul from David Bar-Cohn.

48. Not pushing anyone out of the way in order to touch or kiss the sefer Torah.

49. Handing a siddur to the person who just did hagbah and is occupied with holding the sefer Torah.

50. Asking women whether they have any names for the misheberach for cholim (ill).

51. Standing for the misheberach for the Medina and Tzahal if that’s the shul’s minhag (custom).

52. Not getting angry at people who don’t stand for whatever reason.

53. Giving your attention to someone who gives a drasha (sermon) – i.e. not talking, reading a book, falling asleep or walking out, so as not to make them feel
uncomfortable.

54. Not being matriach people by giving a long drasha.

55. Being sensitive to the audience, giving a drasha they can understand and relate to, being careful not to offend or alienate people, or give overly heavy mussar
(reproach) if it’s not your place.

56. Not being matriach people with long post-davening announcements.

57. Not getting upset when people speak too long.

58. Picking up trash, candy wrappers, etc.

59. Helping put siddurim and chumashim away.

60. If you used a shul tallis, put it back neatly.

61. Buying a few siddurim or chumashim for the shul if you see they’re needed.

62. Thanking the ba’al koreh, gabbaim, ba’alei tefillah and shul rabbi for their efforts.

63. Offering to chip in for or sponsor kiddush or third meal on occasion.

64. At kiddush, looking to let others take first, not wanting to contribute to a “feeding frenzy.”

65. Offering to get a plate of food and drink for an older person.

66. Making sure that your children aren’t running amok, taking too much food, or making a mess.

67. Not standing right by the kiddush table and making people have to walk around you to get to the food.

68. Extending yourself to people who are standing or sitting alone, or who you know are going through difficult times.

69. Expressing warmth and congratulations to ba’alei simcha and their family members.

70. Thanking the kiddush sponsors and people who do setup and cleanup.

71. Helping to set up and clean up, or at the very least cleaning up after yourself and your family.

72. In general, looking for ways to contribute, not just spectate.

73. Inviting people for a meal on Shabbat/Yom Tov if you suspect they may not have a place to go.

74. Not asking a person where they davened today, so as not to embarrass someone who didn’t go to shul.

Here are 26 more Bein Adam LeChavero opportunities in Shul from David Bar-Cohn. See the first 22 opportunities here.

22. Davening Shemonah Esrei quietly, so people aren’t distracted by your whispering.

23. In general, not singing or davening so loudly that you take over the room and draw people’s attention, or that people mistake your voice for the ba’al tefillah’s (the leader).

24. Not getting angry when someone sings or davens too loudly.

25. Being careful not to bother or brush by people davening Shemona Esrei.

26. Standing toward the front of the room when davening a long Shemona Esrei, so people in front of you who daven faster aren’t made to wait before stepping back.

27. Agreeing to be the ba’al tefillah if the gabbai needs someone.

28. If you’re a ba’al tefillah, knowing the usual pace of davening and not being matriach (bothering, delaying) people with long davening or slow tunes.

29. As a ba’al tefillah, finding out how much singing is desired/expected.

30. Having patience for a ba’al tefillah who is too slow – or fast – for your taste, or who sings too much – or too little.

31. Not yelling corrections at the ba’al tefillah, but approaching them in a subtle and friendly way when necessary.

32. Not expressing impatience at a ba’al tefillah, e.g. by saying “Nu?” when you want them to start chazarat hashatz (the repetition), or shouting “Yitgadal!” if they pause a bit before kaddish.

33. Not davening so long if it’s a small minyan and you think it may hold up chazarat hashatz.

34. Not getting upset at people who unknowingly delay chazarat hashatz with their long davening.

35. If you have a talent at it, offering in advance to be the ba’al koreh (Torah reader).

36. Not correcting the ba’al koreh if it’s not your place to do so.

37. Being careful not to embarrass the ba’al koreh by harshly correcting them – especially a bar mitzvah or a young or inexperienced reader.

38. Not talking audibly during chazarat hashatz, kriyat hatorah or kaddish, so as not to distract, disrespect or show lack of caring to the person reciting.

39. Not embarrassing someone who’s talking by loudly “shushing” them or otherwise showing anger.

40. Answering “amen” and singing along audibly, so that people leading davening or saying kaddish feel good that people are listening and participating.

41. Expressing genuine simcha for people celebrating significant life-events in shul, and likewise sympathy for mourners.

42. Showing joy when your children come to sit with you, and making it a positive experience even if they distract your davening, talk, don’t daven, etc.

43. Making sure your children aren’t disturbing others.

44. Helping someone who gets a kibud (honor) in shul and doesn’t know what to do, but without embarrassing them.

45. Acknowledging people who get kibudim with a handshake, smile, “yishar koach,” etc.

46. Not being put off when you don’t get kibudim – just the opposite, wanting others to have the honor, feeling reluctant to “take” when you can give.

47. If you’re the gabbai, using kibudim to include people, make them feel welcome, not ignored.

With Rosh Hoshana less than about a month away, you’ve already received your Yomim Noraim seat reservation form or link. And if you’re a typical Shul member, you might drive the seating committee crazy by waiting till the last possible minute to send it in. Let’s take a look at some issues that make Yomim Noraim seating so stressful.

Most people take their Yomim Noraim davening seriously. People want a group of seats that will work for the men and the women in their family. Since all Yomim Noraim seats are usually pre-assigned and most families want to sit together, some people will be moved from their regular seat. The seating committee has to juggle and judiciously decide who will move and who will stay, who will smile and who will complain. In fact one of the most anticipated events of the year is when the seating chart is posted.

Two rules your Shul may want to consider publicly announcing is setting the minimum age for pre-assigned seats (eight or nine might make sense) and that girls under Bat Mitzvah will not be assigned to the choicest seats in the women’s section (usually the first row or rows).

The second issue is cost. Shuls that are member-funded often draw their fees from three main sources: membership dues, a yearly dinner/melava malka/breakfast and Yomin Noraim seats. Because they’re an important revenue source, Yomim Noraim seating charges can be more complicated than the IRS Tax Code. A Shul has to decide the price per member, family discount pricing and the price for guests, married children, grandchildren, non-members, families of non-members and pets (just kidding, most Shuls allow pets in for free). Many Shuls also try to encourage members to pay old obligations during the seating process.

You’ll be spending a lot of time in Shul on the Yomim Noraim and your seat is important, but it’s a good time of year to overlook any seating slights, try not to argue about the fees if you’re accurately charged, and get your reservation forms in early, even before the deadline.

I still remember last year hoping and praying that Governor Cuomo would allow our Shuls to reopen for Shavuos. And our prayers were answered. We had very limited size minyanim, outdoor minyanim, indoor minyanim, signup sheets, very short davening. Many Shuls around the world had similiar scenarios. Rabbis, gabbaim, officers and members have been working for well over a year to accomodate the varying needs of our Shuls as the face of Covid has changed.

I’ve heard from multiple sources that some people aren’t so anxious to return to their Shuls. They like the smaller, faster, seemingly safer, more personable, makeshift minyanim that were formed out of neccessity. That’s understandable. Covid forced us to change our Shul going experience and many have not yet returned to normal.

For those of us who are beginning to unmask to normalcy, it’s a good time to look around and see what an awesome place your Shul is. Look at your fellow members. Look at your Rav. Look at your officers and adminstrators. Listen to the davening. Listen to the leining. Do some learning. And every once in a while, look to Hashem and thank Him for placing you in such an awesome place.

Chag Sameach

In a previous post we discussed the unbundling of Shuls and I said that it was unfortunate that so many people were choosing their Shul services a la carte and not davening and supporting a fuller service Shul. In the comments, a reader wrote:

“I understand that there is a benefit to having a one-stop-shop, and knowing that all your needs can be adequately met in one place. But there is also a benefit to being able to go to multiple places and have each individual need being met in an above-adequate manner.”

I think this comment highlights one problem with increased Shul choice, and that is the decision becomes focused primarily on what’s best for the individual. Beyond the financial considerations, Shuls need people to meet the chesed needs of the community. Shuls need people to be a positive influence on others. Shuls need people for friendship and a sense of comradeship.

Perhaps if in addition to the question of “What Shul(s) are best for my needs?”, we asked “In what Shul can I be of most service?”. Where can I help people? Where can I inspire others to grow? Where can I be of service to my community? Maybe there is a downside to Shul choice after all?

There are lots of Hallels to be read and sang over the next week or so. Here are some notes from Maharal: Emerging Patterns by Yaakov Rosenblatt on Hallel.

Give Praise Servants of Hashem from this time forth and forever more
Despite Hashem’s loftiness, He is still intimately involved with the life of man and continually bestows goodness through kindness, judgment or mercy.
He raise the needy from the dust is through judgment because the poor should be provided for.
To seat them with the nobles, nobles of His people is through kindness because although raising the poor out of poverty is just, elevating them to sit with nobles is an act of kindness.
He transforms the barren women into a joyful mother of children is an act of mercy since this women is not capable and therefore is not in the realm of judgment, nor is it kindness since children are not above and beyond human needs, rather it is mercy because even though this woman is unable to have children naturally, Hashem still allows her to conceive and bear children.

When Yisroel Went of out of Egypt, the House of Yaakov from a people of a Strange Language
After praising Hashem for His kindness through normal realms, we now praise Hashem for the miracles that transcend nature.
The sea saw and fled, the mountains skipped like rams, the hills like young sheep – water takes the shape of its container and the Earth is shaped by man. When Hashem acts and gives form and definition to all creation it is natural that the sea fled and the mountains skipped.
Hashem turned the rock into a pool of water, the flint into a fountain of waters – when Hashem is the force, even a rock is shaped effortlessly.

Not to us Hashem, but to Your Name Give Glory
This Psalm says the reason that Hashem performs miracles for the Jews is to give recognition to His name, His love and His truth. Only Hashem deserves this recognition and not things like idols which clearly have no power and are weaker than man. Man’s powers are listed in decreasing importance: speech, sight, hearing, smell, feeling, walking, and making sounds.

Hashem will Bless our Remembrance: He will Bless the House of Yisrael
Hashem will Bless our Remembrance requests that the lasting impact we will have on others and the world will be a blessing.
The Dead cannot praise Hashem, nor can any who go down into silence shows that only when the human body and the world are functioning properly can they “sing” the praises of Hashem. King David says allow us to live, allow us to thrive, so our very existence can proclaim your glory.

I love Hashem Who Hears my Voice and my Supplications
You have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. King David thanks Hashem for saving his soul which represents the spiritual, the eyes which are the connection between the spiritual and the physical because they do not actively enter the world, but monitor it for the mind/soul to process, and the feet which represent the physical. Tears represent a loss of part of the soul.

How can I repay Hashem for all His kindness to me?
I will carry the cup that You have filled with salvation, and call upon the name of Hashem – A cup that is filled represents ones meaningful accomplishments and we think Hashem for the ability to act in meaningful ways.
I will carry …in my arms to show the cup that you filled precedes me and proclaims your greatness
I will pay my vows to Hashem in the Presence of all His People to use every opportunity to proclaim the greatness of Hashem and to publicly honor Hashem’s glory

Give Thanks to Hashem for He is Good
Thanks also mean to concede, so to the extent that a person recognizes and acknowledges the Hashem has given him everything is the extent to which he will thank Him. Different groups: humanity, Jews, Kohanim and G-d fearing people, have experienced different benefits and will therefore thank Hashem differently.

Out of My Distress I called upon Hashem
There are three levels of hatred, basic dislike (all the nations) because of economic, cultural or military threats, dislike due to differences in values which only the Jews hold (they surrounded me) and deep seated hatred (they surrounded me like bees) due to the subconscious understanding that the success of the nations is dependent on the Jew’s failure. If we act according to our spiritual potential the world’s event will be centralized around us for our benefit. If we do not, we are punished and the the nations are successful.

O praise Hashem all you Nations
Hallelukah combines a word of praise with Hashem’s name and is used to praise the miraculous because the only the one who created the worlds (Heh – this world, Yud – the next) can suspend the rules to perform miracles when he sees fit.

It was Zos Chanukah and many people in our minyan were prepared for the more propitious davening that the Chassidic seforim discuss. As Neitz arrived, we stepped into Shemoneh Esrai in unison, each of us prepared to address Hashem with our own praise, personal requests and thanks. However, Hashem had a different Avodah in mind.

A few seconds into Shemoneh Esrai, a phone went off. It was a nice piano concerto type of ring, however the timing was awful. It stopped, and a few seconds later it continued. This repeated during the Shemoneh Esrai until the owner grabbed his belongings from a chair and removed them from the Beis Medrash.

What had happened was that a guest had put his things on a chair and put on his talis and tefillin. The seating Gabbai found him a better seat in the corner and he left his things, including the phone, on the chair. When the phone went off the guest wasn’t sure if he was allowed to interrupt his Shemoneh Esrai and walk in front of people to get his phone to turn it off. (Most people with whom I spoke thought that he should have gone to the phone and shut it off.)

In terms of the Shul, the Avodah was overwhelmingly positive. Not a NU was heard in the entire Tzibbur. There was no after-davening reminder by the Gabbai to turn off your phones, which could have led to further embarrassment. The guest offered to apologize and ask for mechila from the Tzibbur, but the Gabbai said it was not necessary. And a post-minyan halachic discussion ensued on what was the correct response.

Zos Chanukah – This is Chanukah – serving Hashem with all our kochos.

It’s inspiring to envision the thousands of people who are reentering their Shuls with a renewed committment. They’re not talking during davening. They’re turning off their cell phones. They’re working hard on increasing their kavanna while saying their prayers.

This renewal was born in the weeks that we spent davening alone. Even if there were some aspects of davening alone that we might have enjoyed, we still longed to go back to Shul. And when that longing was fulfilled, we did our part and stepped up our game.

There’s also feeling of renewed connection with our fellow daveners. We’re still in small minyanim, where each person counts even more. We look around and we see the same faces each day. This is our minyan. We’re truly a Tzibbur. As the minyanim get larger, we’ll take this connection with us.

I don’t know why Hashem brought Covid-19. What I do know, is that so many people in Klal Yisroel are using the new norm, to go beyond their old norms. For Klal Yisroel, our new normal truly rocks.

When you live in a town with many Shuls, and many people, it’s understandable to think that the Shuls don’t really need me, so I’ll just choose what works best for me. Perhaps this is a contributing factor to the continuing diminishment of the importance of Shuls in our lives. Or perhaps in the larger communities, we’ve always had only 10% to 20% who were strongly committed to their Shuls.

Covid-19 has certainly changed the dynamics. For many weeks we were Shuls of one, so if you didn’t show up, there was no davening (haha). And with the partial return of our minyanim, we are Shuls, or driveways, of ten. With these smaller counts, everybody is needed to make the minyan. In my neighborhood, people have stepped up to the plate, and are making and keeping their commitment to their minyanim.

Perhaps being needed will create a sense of belonging, and when we make a fuller Shul return, people will look for opportunities to belong, and become more committed and involved. Or perhaps we’ll go back to our old norms, and we won’t ask what we can do for our Shul, rather we’ll ask what has our Shul done for us lately.

I’m not sure whether we’ll see permanent changes, but at least we can enjoy the increased commitment in our current situation, and the increased achdus that it brings in its wake.

It’s only been four hours since the proclamation from the Moetzes Gedolei HaTorah came out imploring that all public gatherings, including minyanim, be suspended due to the Coronavirus. We have also been directed to not leave the house, unless it’s absolutely necessary. And there is a half-day fast proclaimed for Thursday, March 19th, with the directive that we say the Tefillos for Yom Kippur Kattan (without reciting the 13 middos).

In the preceding weeks, in consultation with leading American Gedolim, we were running sparsely populated safe-distance minyanim, with a slew of precautions. It was definitely a safer space than the supermarket. Now we’ll all be davening Yechidus, with the added pressure to daven with more kavanna in these troublesome times.

I’m missing my two Shuls so much already. The daily contact with the Rav, the amazing people who populate the Shuls, the learning, the growth, the kindness, the unbounded love. Yes, we’ll WhatsApp more, and have Zoomed and Taped Shiurim to close some of the gap, but it’s hard – already.

To make the davening aspect a little easier, it has been suggested by friends to use set times to pace the davening. One consolation is that you can set the times according to your preferences. I’m going to start with the pace of my morning minyan which on March 19th is Brachos at 6:33, Baruch Sheamar at 6:39, Borechu at 6:51 and Shemoneh Esrai at Neitz at 6:59:27.

I miss my Shul, but perhaps Hashem wants us to concentrate more on connecting to Him through private prayer at this time. It’s certainly a worthwhile endeavor.

For men, davening is a social event, meaning you have to do it with other people. Although you can pick your minyan, you can’t pick all the people who will be in it, so there will be times where there’s the potential to get annoyed. We’ve talked about some of the major annoyances like talking, cell phones, and seating conflicts. And there’s the minor annoyances like the guy davening a little to loud during Shemoneh Esrai, or randomly raising his voice during the davening.

I think the best option to deal with potential annoyances is to get so involved in your own davening that you don’t really see or hear the annoyances. This is a high level and I’ve seen a few people who seem to be at that level. For the rest of us it’s not an all or nothing deal. To the degree that we get more involved with our own davening, it is to that degree that the annoyances won’t bother us.

An option that I don’t think is correct is dealing with the source of annoyance. You could in theory tell a loud davener to lower the level a little bit. My Rav has said that this is an absolute no-no because you will make the person self-conscious about his davening, which can cause real long term damage to his ability to concentrate. In regard to other annoyances, chances are your potential cure will be worse then the problem, so it’s not a good choice.

So that leaves us in the situation where sometimes we will be annoyed by others. This presents a tremendous opportunity for us to working on liking our fellow Jew more, even in the midst of being annoyed. We can draw on our strengths of seeing the good, giving the benefit of the doubt, and overlooking our assumed right to not be annoyed. Getting over the annoyance using these positive means unifies the tzibur, making all of our prayers more effective.

I’m ready now. Go ahead and annoy me, so I can overlook it and be better.

The Talmud [Rosh Hashana 17A] teaches that one who is “ma’aveer ol midosov” (willing to overlook it when he’s been wronged) has his transgressions overlooked. Rashi there explains that the Attribute of Justice doesn’t scrutinize such people or their actions. The ‘mirror in the sky’ reflects onto us the way that we treat others. (Translation from Torah.org)

We create our own spiritual reality by our thoughts, speech and actions as the above Talmudic passage highlights. Part of that spiritual reality is determined by our willingness to look at a bigger picture. Jewish issues such as judging people favorable, giving the benefit of the doubt, and not taking revenge are partly based on seeing a bigger picture.

An example of this was brought home to me recently. A member, who probably didn’t read the The Stress of Yomim Noraim Seating post was complaining about a small seat price anomaly that was effecting his family. Although I wasn’t personally involved in the pricing, I tried to explain that it was rooted in a larger goal of keeping our base membership price very low for a Shul with our breadth of services.

Shul administrations have to take the entire memberships needs into account, whether that involves fees, davening length, or air conditioning settings. They’re forced to look at a bigger picture and usually some trade-offs are involved and some members may feel slighted even though that’s not the intent. Rosh Hoshana is a good time to look at these issues from a wider perspective so we will merit to have Hashem look at our mistakes and deficiencies from a wider perspective.

Shuls Are About The People
Shuls are more than a place to pray. They aren’t just minyan factories churning out thrice daily prayer services. Shuls are communities, social groups, places for us to make deep and lasting friendships. Shuls, at their heart, are about the people.

People Have Their Quirks
You don’t have to be an Myers-Briggs expert to know that people have different personality types. Beyond the types, people have flaws and idiosyncrasies. And as much as we often wish that people would behave more like us, we know deep down that a planet full of me-clones would be boring at best, and probably closer to intolerable.

Look For The Strengths
Even if we grant that differences in people make the world a more interesting place, what do we do about the fact that people can be downright annoying? One path is to focus on people’s strengths. Everybody has them, and the more you look for them, the easier it is to find them. It’s a talent that’s worth developing and it will make you a better spouse, parent and friend. Find the strengths and share your findings with others.

Love The Quirks
Finding strengths is doable, but the quirks are a challenge. Personality quirks are hard enough to appreciate, and serious character weaknesses are often intolerable. The key to loving the quirks is appreciating that they are the keys to our lives. We have to overcome them, and often try to change them and it’s difficult, but it’s what we’re here for.

Resisting the Tyranny of the Majority
In Shuls, the membership machine is often looking to eliminate quirky behavior for the benefit of the Shul. It often is stated in the form of “Why should we all suffer, just because Joe is….”. We sometimes must mute bad behavior, but in most cases, the behavior is tolerable and we should just grin and bear it and appreciate the person’s challenges. In Shuls, we need to focus on the individual, not on the collective, it may be counter-intuitive, but it’s the right thing to do.

Summary
Shuls are about the people and we all have our quirks. Tolerating, accepting and appreciating the quirks of others makes you a better person and makes your Shul a better place.

There was a good article in the Forward containing some Shul Security Tips. Here is a link to the article. Here are the tips.

1) Strike the balance between preparedness and paranoia.

2) Use technology where it’s prudent.

3) Develop a synagogue security plan.

4) Take advantage of the physical security you already have.

5) Install video surveillance.

6) Design a plan to cooperate with local law enforcement.

7) Train synagogue leaders about security.

8) Engage the community while leaving most of the responsibility on the staff.

9) Apply for a security site visit.

10) Consider active shooter training programs.

11) Assign patrolling staff.

The Love and Fear of the Yom Kippur Davening

The Gemora calls prayer the Service of the Heart, and as we’ve pointed out before, it’s a difficult service. It’s difficult to stay on task during a 15 minute Maariv, so it’s no wonder that the 10-14 total hours we’ll spend in Shul on Yom Kippur creates a wide range of emotional responses. For some the day is a tremendous opportunity and they could think of no better place then to spend it then Shul. To others, between the fasting, the length, and the intensity, it is very difficult to spend a long time in Shul. And there’s a wide range of emotions in between.

How Long was the Break?

Although the length of the davening can come under scrutiny on any given Shabbos, on Yom Kippur, almost everybody has an opinion on the subject. So the typical post Yom Kippur cross Shul conversations often involves the question: “how long was the break?”. The fact that most of us need a little down time or a nap before the final Neilah service takes the question beyond the realm of one-upmanship. Although many people will be forgiving on Yom Kippur if the break is short, the Shul really wants to give people as much support as possible on this important and intense day.

Try to Streamline

As we’ve mentioned previously, we don’t always have control over the Baalei Tefillah. If you’re Shul waits for your Rav to finish his viduy, it’s not quite appropriate to ask him to cut it short on Yom Kippur. However you can try to make the Leining as efficient as possible, and make sure that people who are opening the Aron are ready when their time has arrived. Many Shuls start earlier then normal and you may want to push the start time a little earlier for those who say Shiur HaYichud.

All You Can Do is Do Your Best

Even after you’ve done as much as you can to streamline, it will probably be too long or not inspirational enough for some members. Although it would be great if the unhappy members would grin and bear it with the Shul, that’s not always practical and they might chose to daven elsewhere. In all situations, discuss possible solutions but try to keep the issue on a low simmer – because it is a day of forgiveness after all.

Although the president is the “buck stops here” officer, with all the responsibility that entails, the Shul Treasurer probably puts in the most total hours. In fact in our Shul, we have three, going on four, Treasurers – one for Tzedakah, one for our Gan, one for expenses and one for member’s receivables. In bigger Shuls, some of those functions would be handled by a Shul employee, but in smaller Shuls (~less than 250 member), the budget, or a sense of idealism keeps the bookkeeping in the hands of volunteers.

Of all the functions, member’s receivables, with it’s entry of charges, payment processing and billing of members is most tricky. It’s impossible to get it 100% correct and when mistakes get made members get upset.

For the entry of charges, the Treasurer must coordinate with the membership committee for any special membership fee deals, with the dinner committee for the dinner pledges, with the seating committee for the Yomim Noraim obligations, with the Gabbaim for any misheberachs made, with the building committee for building pledges. In fact for any charge entered, there is a person with whom to contact. A good Shul Membership System makes this easier, but much coordination and care must be taken to minimize mistakes.

Applying the payments is also a challenge because it’s often not clear to which charges the payment is to be applied. The Treasurer sometimes has to make a best guess, and if the payment is misapplied it will inevitably create confusion when the bill is received.

The final challenge is billing. Gehinnom hath no fury like a member with an incorrect bill. Maybe it’s not that bad, but the negativity directed towards the Treasurer when then the bill is wrong inhibits many treasurers from billing regularly. And no bill means no payment, which hurts cash flow and is more likely to lead to uncollected debt if the member moves on. Ideally monthly billing is appropriate, but a Treasurer who gets out four bills a year is usually considered doing a good job.

For the Treasurer the consolation of this difficulty is that there are many Kaporah moments and the mesiras nefesh builds a better Jew. For the membership, perhaps it would be healthy to cut the Treasurer some slack. He’s doing a tough job to help your Shul pay the bills.

The Yomim Noraim seem to be a time when we’re more focused on our own needs in Shul. We want the right seats, the right Baalei Tefillah, the right length of davening. This makes sense since these are the most critical prayers of the years and we want to create the conditions that enable our best possible tefillos.

On the other hand, when we’re more particular, there’s a greater chance that we’ll be disappointed by our seat or by the davening. This disappointment might move us further from our ideal davening state.

In addition, the high holy days are a time when we make extra efforts to recognize Hashem as King. According to some commentators this focus on His Kingship precludes us from personal requests on Rosh Hoshana, so it seems a bit incongruent to be more particular about our own needs.

We might not be at the level where we can totally ignore our needs, but perhaps we can catch ourselves when things don’t meet our higher holiday standards. These down moments can be transformed into up moments if we refocus on Hashem as King and move a little bit away from our “I”.

A number of years ago, a friend attributed the low amount of friction and conflict in our Shul to apathy. If people cared more about Shul going-ons, they would fight more for what they thought was right. Influenced perhaps by my role as an officer at that time, I attributed the low level of conflict to general state of satisfaction with the Shul.

On the other extreme is the trait of diligence, in which you’re constantly concerned with improving the state of affairs. All happy all the time is the lofty goal of this mindset. No problem too small, no problem too tough.

Visiting Israel and davening in many different Shuls gave me a chance to refresh my perspective on this issue. I was very interested in the speed of davening, customs and the running of the service wherever I went, however in minyan factories no input is needed and as a guest, input is usually not appropriate. In fact most minyanim run fine on autopilot: 10 men together – start davening, 10 men finished – start the repetition of the Shomoneh Esrai. My lack of involvement was not due to apathy, rather it was because my input and manpower was not needed.

Sometimes people complain that 20% of the members do 95% of the work. A closer look might reveal that the quiet 80% are not apathetic, they’re just cautious about giving unnecessary input. The diligent one might look for opportunities to get more people involved, while the wiser approach might be to let things run their natural course and most people will find the involvement level that works best for them.

To paraphrase Wikipedia: Unbundling is used to describe how technology and expectations are affecting older institutions (education, broadcasting, newspapers, games, shopping, etc.) by “breaking up the packages they once offered, providing particular parts of them at a scale and cost unmatchable by the old order. “Unbundling has been called “the great disruptor”.

For Shuls the traditional bundle included:
1) a place to daven
2) a place to learn
3) a place for social activity
4) access to a Rabbi for halachic and life consultation

The rise of the young married, yeshivish and hashkama minyanim highlights how nowadays many people are getting their services ala carte and for free. People can get no frills davening, a Daf Yomi shiur, social time with friends and access to a Rav without incurring the higher dues and additional rules that come with the traditional Shul bundle.

I personally think there’s tremendous value in belonging to a Shul because of the closer relationship with the Rabbi, the chesed and middos development opportunities and the positive spiritual influence of friends. Unfortunately many people are coming to a different conclusion and are pursuing more non-membership options resulting from the great Shul Unbundling.

A small business owner, a lawyer, and a manager walk into a social hall and see that Shalosh Seudos has not been cleaned up…

The small business owner knows that the buck stops here, so he makes a public request for volunteers, and when few show up, he does it himself.

The lawyer calls for a membership meeting to propose that all members are required to help in Shul chores.

The manager goes to a few members, explains the problem and asks them to make a small time commitment to help clean up.

Although each of these means may be successful in the effort to get shul things done, the manager has accomplished much more. The members who do volunteer are doing a chesed for the Shul as opposed to a requirement in the lawyer’s scenario, or often not doing anything in the case of the small business owner. In addition, when people contribute their time to the Shul they feel more connected, and as a result get much more out of their Shul experience.

The difficulty with recruiting volunteers is that you have to make the time to ask people, come up with the appropriate pitch, deal with rejection, and sometimes perform chesed-based arm-twisting. A motivation to get over these hurdles is to know that when you meet with success, you will have performed a much greater deed.

We’re taught that if one is forgiving of others, Hashem will be forgiving.

Here are things to be forgiving of in Shul this Rosh Hashanah

1) Time davening is over
2) Niggunim chosen by the Ba’al Tefillah
3) Temperature in the Shul
4) Kibuddim you did or didn’t received
5) The person disturbing your concentration

The passion around the “Sharing the Burden” issue in Eretz Yisroel has been inflamed to the point that this week’s Hamodia asks the question on its front cover “Are Charedim Parasites?”. Of course Hamodia is asking the question rhetorically, but unfortunately many Torah Observant voices on the Internet and in our communities feel the answer is yes. Let’s look at this from a Shul perspective and see if there are any insights to be gained.

In a growth oriented Shul, an annual or biennial ritual involves finding/electing new officers and Gabbaim. In established Shuls, where many members have already filled those roles, it is sometimes difficult finding members to fill one of these positions of greater responsibility. It can sometimes be frustrating, and it would great if some more people would step up, but if we look closer at the spiritual mission of the Shul, we might conclude that it’s fine that some people don’t participate at all in the operation of the Shul.

As discussed previously, Shuls are a place for us to grow spiritually through prayer, learning Torah and acts of Chesed. Shul members are very happy when the Shul is being used to capacity as intended. To operate and serve its spiritual purpose, Shuls need people to perform the necessary roles. As long as the roles are adequately filled by willing participants, it’s absolutely fine that other members don’t participate in the operation. Sometimes new participants are needed to become officers, to daven, to teach, or to clean up after Shalosh Seudos, but as long as the Shul is operating properly, it’s fine that many members are just davening or learning or participating socially.

Perhaps we can look at the “Share the Burden” issue in this light. From a Torah perspective, countries, like everything in this world exist to support our spiritual growth. Major components of this supportive function is protecting and helping with the physical needs of the citizens. Depending on the countries resources, political structure and ingenuity, different levels of citizen participation are needed. If a country was satisfactorily providing these services with minimal willing citizen participation, due to ingenuity, resources or some other means, it would (or should) be happy to support most of its citizens in their spiritual and physical pursuits.

So perhaps the issue in both Shuls and countries is not so much to “Share the Burden”, but rather to insure the necessary participation, so that the Shul or country can fulfill its purpose. If the necessary functions are being fulfilled, there’s no problem with as many members or citizens benefiting physically and more importantly spiritually. “Share the Burden” implies everybody must participate, while I think that adequate participation is what’s necessary. How that translates into policy as to what is needed to insure adequate participation is a separate question.

Here are some of the more popular reasons I’ve encountered on why people prefer tables over benches:

1) It’s easier to learn on tables

2) It’s a move away from the big noisy bench-based shuls of the past

3) It’s a warmer and friendlier atmosphere when people sit on both sides

4) It’s a good place to keep your seforim and tallis bag

5) It’s easier to put on your tefillin

6) It feel like your davening in a Beis Medrash

7) It’s easier to get in and out of your seat

It should be noted that many people prefer Lavi seating over both benches and table.

The Agudah of Bayswater was devastated by Hurricane Sandy.

As the Voz Iz Neiaz news site reports:

Bayswater, a tranquil community located on a peninsula northwest of Far Rockaway, was devastated by Monday night’s storm, with parts of the area completely submerged at the height of the hurricane.

“The bay and the ocean met up on most parts of the peninsula,” Elkana Edelman, vice president of the Rockaway Citizens Safety Patrol told VIN News. “Many people, especially those who live on the bay have had major flooding and mold is going to be a huge problem.”
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The Agudah of Bayswater, located approximately one third of a mile from the bay, has been totally destroyed by the storm. The shul, which is located lower than street level had recently undergone renovations.

“They were under eight feet of water at one point in time,” said Edelman. “Now that the water has receded they are only under about four to six feet of water. Thankfully all the Sifrei Torah were removed before the storm, but while the shell of the building is still intact, the building will need to be gutted completely.”

According to Edelman all the Sifrei Torah in Bayswater had been evacuated except one that was located in a small basement shul and was later pulled from its Aron Kodesh as it floated down the street during the storm.

The Yeshiva World news site reports:

The situation is very dire, and as of now, the shul reaching out to anyone who can assist them in rebuilding. The shul is an enormous part of the Bayswater community. There are hundreds who use it on a daily basis and rely on it for their Torah and tefilla needs. (Yeshivas Zichron Aryeh is also housed in the shul). The Shul is reaching out to the broader community to help them rebuild this vital source of Torah and Tefilla and need as much financial assistance that they can get. Checks can be made out to Agudath Israel of Bayswater c/o 1360 Norton Drive Far Rockaway NY 11691

We’ve pointed out in a previous post, that the essential goal of encouraging people to learn in the Shul could have the unintended side effect of downsizing the functionality of our Shuls to drive-thru davening and chavrusa centers. The problem is that the resulting structure is often missing services and does not always accommodate a Rav, who’s role is indispensable for the community.

Our Shul’s solution evolved over time. By sharing it, perhaps it will provide a foundation for others to build a lasting and effective Shul structure. When we were planning our new Shul building 14 years ago, the issue of what type of seating was intensively discussed. We were moving from a High School basement with tables to a beautiful new building. The membership was split between tables and the pew style seating, commonly found in larger Shuls. At the same time a large Shul in Jackson Heights, Queens was moving to a smaller location and they offered us all their pews in exchange for a small donation and coverage of the moving expenses.

We went with the pews as an interim solution because of cost and capacity considerations. This decision was made over the protestations of an active board member, who warned it would be like “Aunt Sadie’s hand me down couch” and we’ll never get rid of them. Over the years the pro-tables contingent tried a few plans to replace the pews with tables. None were successful, largely because some very involved members wanted to keep a Shul feeling in our new building.

Fast forward a few years and we implemented a weekday Community Beis Medrash in the Shul. We wanted to provide a place for people to feel comfortable learning either before or after our weekday 9:30pm Maariv. We also created a number of chaburas, where members would give interactive shiurim to small groups. To accommodate the Beis Medrash, every Motza’ei Shabbos we would flip over some pews to make room for folding tables for learning – certainly not an optimal solution.

This went on for a few years and we would on occasion raise the table issue with our architect-by-profession member who was instrumental in the initial beautiful design of our Shul. One day he came up with a great solution, we would have Lavi type pews in the front of the Shul and tables in the back. The tables are 15 inches wide, forward facing on Shabbos and we double them together to create a Beis Medrash environment during the week.

The solution worked out well because we have the full feel of a Makom Tefillah on Shabbos and a Beis Medrash during the week. People were able to choose whether they preferred to sit at tables or at the extremely comfortable and functional pews. Although I’m minimizing the implementation process, at the end of the day it was a great solution.

I was reading a post by Harry Maryles protesting shuls that go against Jewish halachic norms. I join Harry in that protest, but I would like to look at one of his points.

Harry wrote:

Perhaps this is where the problem really lies. As important as a Shul is – it is not the central focus of Judaism. But in Heterodox (Conservative and Reform) movements this has certainly been the case. …

The truth is that Orthodox Judaism is a full time religion. Halacha mandates that we pay attention to God throughout our day and provides many rituals for both men and women to do so. The Shul is a place where one of those rituals take place. It is our house of prayer. But it does not define us in our totality.

Although Shuls may not be the central focus of Judaism, they are a big part of it. When the Mishna says the world stands on Torah, Avodah and Acts of Kindness, I haven’t seen any major commentators that make distinctions of what’s most central, they’re all important. But just because we can’t assert that it’s the central focus, does not diminish it’s importance.

Prayer is a key component of Judaism and prayer takes place primarily in Shuls. And we’ve pointed out before, in many places, the Shul is often the organizing structure for learning Torah and Acts of Kindness. So minimizing the importance of Shuls by saying “it is not the central focus of Judaism” is misleading.

Perhaps the confusion comes from Harry’s second point quoted above, that “Orthodox Judaism is a full time religion. Halacha mandates that we pay attention to God throughout our day”. I agree wholeheartedly with that statement, but it is most true for a spiritually experienced person who knows about Jewish law and pays attention to the spiritual opportunities available throughout the day. Even many Torah observant people get distracted often and neglect those spiritual opportunities. And certainly those uneducated in Torah observance can not avail themselves of those spiritual opportunities.

This is why the Shabbos Minyan is so central. It is a time and a place where everybody can focus on connecting to G-d. Unfortunately even among the Torah observant, we don’t always take advantage of that obvious spiritual opportunity.

For some spiritual beginners, learning Torah is a better place to start, but for many, the Shul experience is the portal to an increasing spiritual life. I will end with a caveat that perhaps moves me closer to Harry’s position. The Shul experience is just one part. A lasting and growing spiritual life necessitates that the person work on their everyday acts of kindness, learning Torah and the spiritual experiences as expressed in the halacha that are available throughout the day.

In summary, Shul’s are central to spiritual growth but a spiritually mature person observes the halacha throughout the day. For many people the Shul is a logical entry point for spiritual awareness, but it’s important to stress that it can’t stop there.

My friend, Neil Harris, a resident of Chicago, emailed me an article on Mishkan Chicago, a new organization that “aims to bring dynamic spirituality to the Windy City”. The organization is run by Lizzi Heydemann.

In describing what she is trying to create, one particular sentence stood out:
“What she doesn’t want to do is turn Mishkan into a synagogue, with its inevitable rules and decorum.”

To create a vibrant growing organization, you need to go beyond an inspiring leader and create a governing structure. Governing structures need rules to insure fair governance.

A successful organization needs their finances to be “squeaky clean”. Squeaky clean finances need rules. Rules on how to raise money and rules on how to spend money.

When an organization is spiritual focused, then rules can actually promote growth. The Mishkan itself had more rules on how it operated then any institution in history of mankind, yet it was the greatest center of spiritual connection ever witnessed.

Spiritual growth can occur beyond the confines of the prayer service. The Torah gives us the opportunity to grow in a board meeting, in a membership meeting, when making a budget. Rules express a concern for fairness and a caring for the collective membership. By shunning them instead of embracing them, an organization is leaving a lot of spiritual growth on the table.

I hope the citizens of Chicago continue their quest for authentic spiritual growth and look for those opportunities wherever they turn.

We’re taking a break from the growth culture series to explore a deep Shul mystery – How the window became such an explosive issue. Let’s take look at some of the issues involved.

It’s All in the Airflow
Perhaps the only way to prevent window fights is by making a building without windows. If you do build a Shul, make sure you have a good mechanical engineer who is concerned about ac vents, return vents, air flow and multi-zone thermostats. Unfortunately many Shuls skimp in this area. Usually different parts of the Shul experience very different actual temperatures, with those near air vents being cold, while those at a distance are warm.

Body Temperature
Beside building issues, people have different internal thermostats so their acclimation for heat or cold varies. It’s interesting to note that our sensitivity to temperature variations can be very fined tuned and people will feel comfortable at 69 degrees, but will start to feel warm at 70. An unscientific sample informs me that the acceptable range of temperature in New York is between 68 and 71 degrees.

How To Decide
Some people hold that in the summer opening the windows is given preference, while in the winter, it’s the window closers who have the upper hand. Added to the mix is the room stuffiness factor, which can be alleviated with a slight opening. Although it would make sense if thermometers played a role, I haven’t heard of a Shul that uses strategically placed thermometers to drive a decision.

Who Has The Authority
By what authority to open or close the window. Is it
1) the person who sits near the window,
2) the most aggressive window opener/closer
3) a formal decision making process.
In most Shuls it’s not a formal process and perhaps making one would solve many issues.

Some Solutions
I think the two solutions to fix the problem is set a policy based on actual temperature measurement and install thermometers. Then create a committee or a person to enforce the policy. We can never make everybody happy but we can prevent stronger disagreements with a fair policy. In the end our goal is to make sure nobody gets thrown out of the window.

A Great Time to Daven
For the past five weeks I’ve been davening at a new minyan for me during the week. It’s a vasikin Minyan where Shemoneh Esrai is timed to begin at sunrise, the optimal halachic time. Right now that’s not too difficult since sunrise is currently about 7:20am, so the minyan starts with Brochos at 6:55am. It looks like sunrise will get to 5:23am in June and the minyan will start then at about 5:00am.

A Great Minyan to Daven
Besides the great start time, it’s also a great minyan in which to daven. It’s located in a small Beis Medrash in a local Yeshiva and seats 30 people comfortably at tables. The people are serious about their davening and, currently there are many people there 10-15 minutes before the scheduled start time. Since it’s in the Yeshiva there’s no membership dues, but of course it’s proper to make some donation to the Yeshiva over the course of the year.

A Great Seat to Daven
When I first started attending I asked a few people which seats were not normally occupied. It’s not a membership based shul and there are no official seats but the regular attendees generally try to daven in the same place each day. A great seat in the front was available and I’ve been happily davening there for the last five weeks.

There’s No Official Seats
On Monday, I came in about 10 minutes before davening and there was somebody in my usual seat. It was no big deal, so I asked one of the Gabbaim about the availability of another seat. He pointed out to me that the occupant of my normal seat was only there because two guys were learning in the seat he normally occupies. He told me he would go over to him when they stopped learning, and I told him 3 times that he shouldn’t and it wasn’t necessary.

The Kindness of Seat Eviction
He was not deterred by my protests and when they stopped learning he pointed out the situation and the person moved to his regular seat. He told me to hurry up and take the seat, before someone else did. I went over to the person who was asked to move and said thank you and he said it was no problem, he prefers his regular seat anyway.

At the end of the day the Gabbai was doing a chesed for me and everybody was happy in the end. Was it the right thing to do? It was coming from a good place and was done properly and I feel a bit closer to both the Gabbai and the person who moved as a result.