Communities Archives - Shul Politics

Serving the Kings

Making Hashem Our King
Rosh Hashanah is approaching and it’s an opportunity for us to crown Hashem as our King. This is a difficult task because a King has absolute sovereignty and few people are willing to cede all their authority to Hashem.

Rabbi Noson Weisz provides a motivating thought by pointing out that Hashem is the Creator of the entire universe and He can do anything for us. He can make all our problems disappear and provide us with peace, prosperity and endless joy. However, since Hashem gives us free will, we are given the power to determine our spiritual and physical outcomes. Hashem can only provide His full providential assistance if we cede our sovereignty back to Him by making Him our King.

If we do truly cede control back to Him, Hashem’s Hashgachah Pratis will come into full swing bringing us the spiritual and material success for which we yearn. That’s the connection between making Hashem Our King and Our Judgement for the Year – if we truly accept Hashem as King, he will take care of us as only a King can. However, this is still a difficult task.

Making Our Friend Our King
Rabbi Aaron Feldman brings down a Magidda D’ R’ Meir (thought to be a baraisa), which says that one of the questions we will be asked in the World to Come is “Im Melachatcha Es Chaveiro Alecha” – Did you make your friend a King over you? Did you do Chessed for your friend? Did you serve your friend? Did you treat your friend as a King?

When we treat our friend, or our fellow Shul member as a King, we diminish our self-centered perspective. The same is true when we serve the Shul with pure motivations. This service is a mitzvah in its own right, but the accompanying diminishment of ego makes it easier for us to accept Hashem as King.

Perhaps you shul has a family that exemplifies this trait of treating a friend as a King. Watch them. Learn from them. Emulate them. May all of Klal Yisroel acquire this wonderful trait so that we can individually and collectively give Hashem the sovereignty to bring the Geulah.

Covid and Connection

Although we’re apart in these Covid times, in some ways we’re more connected. The Maharal in his commentary on Avos (6:1) says that happiness flows from completeness, just as grief is the result of loss and deficiency. One of the things that makes us feel complete is connecting to the people in a community. When I’ve spent Shabbos in an out-of-town community, the degree of connection among the members is palpable. In an out-of-town shul or community each person’s contribution is needed more, leading to a greater sense of connection. This is a great benefit of an out-of-town community.

Connection and happiness can be improved in any community. Rav Itamar Shwartz, the author of the Bilvavi seforim, teaches that the goal of chesed is to increase our connection to others. There are many opportunities to give in our Shuls, on an institutional or personal level. A member of my morning minyan moves the talis and tefillin from storage to each person’s seat. This act creates an unbelievable bond between him and the members.

In addition to acts of kindness, we can also create connections in our minds and hearts. A few years ago, I was on a small 240 seat plane and there were 11 orthodox Jews who were sitting in the last number of rows. As we took off I observed several of them saying Tehillim and/or Tefillas HaDerech. At that point I felt a strong connection to a group that was collectively acknowledging our Creator. As the Ramban at the end of Parsha Bo writes “the purpose of raising our voices in prayer and the purpose of Shuls and the merit of communal prayer is that people should have a place where they can gather and acknowledge that G-d created them and caused them to be and they can publicize this and declare before Him, ‘We are your creations’”.

Covid-19 is connecting us together through a common crisis. We’re working hard to stay connected through technology. We’re yearning to go back to our Shuls and raise our collective voices in prayers.

Our purpose in life is to connect to G-d and to connect to other people with our thoughts, emotions and actions. In the process, we increase our happiness and more importantly take a step towards that day when “Hashem will be One and His Name will be One”. May the merit of our efforts in this Covid Crisis bring us closer to that day.

A Great Shabbos in Lawrence

My wife and I had the pleasure of spending Shabbos with friends who moved from Kew Gardens Hills to Lawrence almost 20 years ago. During the course of the Shabbos I spend some time with two other friends who also made that move at about the same time. Although I do see all of them from time to time at weddings and other venues, it was nice to spend some time with them in their neighborhood.

One of the striking things about Lawrence is the number of great Shuls there and across Route 878 in Far Rockaway. The number of great choices is growing. On Friday night we davened at a newer Shul which has gone from a house Shul to a beautifully renovated 180 men’s seat Shul in a few years. The quietness and slowness of the davening was the right complement to the tasteful and comfortable Shul interior.

The Shabbos morning davening at an older established Shul was the highlight of the Shabbos davening. The Shul had three Shabbos morning minyanim starting at 7:30, 8:30 and 9:00. We davened at the 8:30 minyan which was well paced and quiet. After the conclusion of davening, a nice cholent, kugel, herring and scotch kiddush was served. After the kiddush there was a great shiur on the parsha by Rabbi Ari Bergman, another former Kew Gardens Hill resident, which was attended by about 30 men and women. When the shiur ended we rushed upstairs to catch the last 10 minutes of the post-davening shiur of their scholar-in-residence. The only thing missing for me was a Rav’s drasha, which is given at the 9:00 minyan.

It’s great to see that Long Island Jews are putting the time, energy and resources to make sure that their spiritual surroundings match their physical environs.

It’s All About The People

A Shul can do everything right operationally, but if they don’t anticipate and prepare for demographic changes and the changes needs of their members and prospective members, their continuity will be threatened. It’s all about the people.

Unfortunately Shuls in many neighborhoods fail to heed that call. I was in a big Shul recently with a dwindling membership. In the main lobby they had a letter poster describing proper conduct in their Shul. It read, “the Shul is not …” and listed many things that the Shul was not. You might in fact agree with every item in the list, but the attitude was quite a turnoff. It’s no surprise that they are not attracting many young members to their main minyan.

A Shul needs to listen and truly understand the needs of their members and prospective members. That is not to say that you necessarily can build a Shul for All Orthodox Jews, or that you can embrace an anything-goes environment. It does mean that if you have a letter posted like that mentioned above, you might want to step back and take a fresh look at where you’ve been, where you are now, and where you should be heading. It’s all about the people!

The Biggest Problem in Judaism

What’s the biggest problem in Judaism. A lot of things come to mind, the Yeshiva System, the Shidduch System, the Chinuch System, the Left, the Right, the Middle, the Open, the Closed, the Leadership, the lack of Leadership, etc.

However, I think the biggest problem in Judaism is clearly stated in the pasuk in Devarim:
And now, Israel, what does Hashem ask of you, that you
1) fear Him, 2) walk in His ways, 3) love Him, 4) serve Him with all your heart and all your soul and 5) observe all the mitzvos.

That’s what’s expected of us!

On top of that we have an animal soul that’s impulsive, loves physical pleasure, and detests exertion. We have a yetzer hara that makes us ego-centric leading to selfishness, anger, envy and honor seeking. And we live in a world loaded with intellectual, emotional and physical distractions like politics, business, sports, shopping, gadgets, social media, and entertainment.

And even when we are able to overcome the physical, emotional and intellectual deterrents and create some connection to Hashem through fear, middos development, love, wholehearted service, and meticulous mitzvos observance – the majority of the payoff will not even be received in this world, but in the world to come.

This challenge is a tall order and it’s not really emphasized to FFB/BT children or FFB/BT adults, because it would just discourage them. So Yeshivos focus on the information and thought development of Torah study, and Kiruv and non-Yeshivish environments offers Torah as the best of all possible lifestyles. So it should be no surprise that many people want to move to a town where they can sit back a little and enjoy the Torah lifestyle.

That is the Biggest Problem in Judaism – a lot is expected of us and it’s really hard given our nature and environment. However, this is a problem that Hashem created. And if He created this problem, we know that He created a solution. We’ll take a look at the solution in a week or so.

The Weekday Shacharis Minyan – It’s Just a Minyan After All

In the past, I posted about a weekday Shacharis minyan mechila experience and the difference between a minyan and a Tzibbur. After giving it some thought, I think a typical weekday Shacharis minyan can not become a Tzibbur.

The main reason is that there is not enough commitment from the members. Most don’t spend enough time there and it’s difficult to developer deeper relationships give the daven and out nature of the minyan. In addition the financial commitment is minimal, which also diminishes the emotional commitment.

Given that the minyan is not a Tzibbur in the fuller sense of the word, it makes sense that those most involved, the Gabbaim, should make the rules. They’re the ones who are most committed to the success of the minyan and they should have the say in what rules to follow. That’s not to say the Gabbaim shouldn’t be open to suggestions, but unlike the Shabbos Shul, the process is less democratic in such an instance.

I mentioned these thoughts to the Gabbai from the Shacharis minyan and he asked what were the added capacities of a Tzibbur. I mentioned the Chesed aspect to him , but I think there’s more to it. I’ll try to codify it in the future.

Making Things Right

One of the advantages of being involved in the day to day operations of a Shul is that it gives you the opportunity to develop a better understanding of people. One of the lessons that I’ve learned is that people want to make things right. People want to do what’s good for the Shul and what’s good for other people.

Despite these good intentions, people sometimes get upset and have disagreements. The main reason for disagreements is that people see each issue through their own lens which is shaped by their personality, experience and the roles they play. So despite the common desire to do what’s good and right, each person has a differing view of what is right in each situation.

One path to reducing disagreements is to try to see things from the other person’s perspective. This is often possible when you’re are third party observer, but when you’re more involved in the issue it becomes difficult. And even if you do see the other person’s perspective, you might still think your view is the correct one.

Perhaps a more practical solution is to understand that people are generally coming from a good place although they may disagree on any given issue. Even though you may feel slighted in a given situation, try not to take it personally as that’s usually not the person’s intent. People are good and the more we can get back to that anchoring perspective the better we’ll be at making things right.

A Shul Grows in East Boca

Boca Raton, Florida is one of the fastest growing Jewish and Orthodox communities in the United States. According to a recent article in Hamodia, the first Orthodox Shul opened there in 1983 and today there are over 1,000 Shomer Shabbos families. The biggest Shul is the Boca Raton Synagogue, with 700 families and according to their Shul beliefs and History web page, former Rabbi Kenneth Brander, now at Yeshiva University was instrumental in Boca’s growth. Rabbi Brander has been succeeded by Rabbi Efrem Goldberg who goes beyond his Rabbinic leadership duties with an insightful weekly blog column.

Last summer, a family I am close with, moved to a smaller community outside of Boca proper, where Rabbi Yaakov Gibber is the Rabbi of Shaarei Tefillah. My friend is very happy with the community and attributes it’s marked warmth to the fact that the residents are transplants from other communities and don’t have much extended family so they form close connections with their neighbors.

Last fall, another close family announced they were moving to East Boca which is 7 miles to the east of Boca proper. The East Boca community was established 7 years ago when Rabbi Shimon Feder and 5 other alumni families of Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim in Queens founded the Jewish Education Center which is primarily involved in teaching Torah to unaffiliated Jews. Rabbi Feder is the son-in-law of a long time friend from my Shul, so he regularly updates me on the exciting thing going on down there.

A few years ago, Rabbi Noach Light, another musmach from Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim was appointed as the first Rav of Congregation Yagdil Torah of East Boca. I’ve known Rabbi Light for many years and last week I had the pleasure of driving him home from a vort in Passaic to Queens. I mentioned a growth project I was working on which is focused on improving kavanna during Tefilla, and he told me that the entire community of 25 families in East Boca is focused on continual growth in Tefilla and all aspects of Yiddishkeit. Along with the tremendous outreach activities, East Boca is taking the Growth Culture Shul to the next level, with an entire Growth Culture Community.

I miss my friends very much, but I’m excited to hear how they’re growing, and to learn how to apply their continual growth culture to Shuls and communities in other parts of the country.

Building a Shul and Building a Community

I had a wonderful conversation recently with a dynamic, dedicated Rabbi, who is planning on opening a new Shul. He wants to build more than a Shul, he wants to build a community of people on a path of continual spiritual growth. The interesting part was that this Shul was located in an established Orthodox community which already has a number of Shuls.

The conversation highlighted the fact that for a Shul to be a spiritual community, it has to go beyond providing a place for prayer, learning and Jewish experiences. I think the two key aspects for a spiritual community are:
1) a Rabbi to turn to for direction as we navigate through the issues of life
2) a group of peers, to whom people can turn to share their issues and get feedback and possible strategies

It’s not so easy to create such a community. My Shul fulfills these two requirements for many people, and although we share the same Rabbi, different people associate with different peer groups. However, I think there are people in my Shul who would like more peers for support and friendship. And there are people in the larger community who are missing one or both of these essential components.

I’ve been having this discussion both within my Shul and among a group of friends across my larger community. I think it sheds light on the need for gatherings that will facilitate the formation of these peer groups. We’re in the planning stages for these types of gatherings and G-d willing, I’ll share the results in the months ahead.

From a Minyan to a Tzibbur – The Need for Complaints

It was on Erev Yom Kippur and the gabbai of the Shacharis minyan made a seemingly innocent plea for Mechila on behalf of himself and the other Gabbaim. Unfortunately I had been recently learning the sugya of Mechila in preparation for my Rav’s Shabbos Shuva pilpul shiur. Unfortunate because I now understood that a blanket request for Mechila was probably worthless and in the eyes of some a poor substitute for not doing a more conscientious job.

Because this particular Gabbai is a true Baal Mussar and Ben Torah, I emailed him with my thoughts on his Mechila request. I told him that my impression was the he was running a minyan with no memberships, and he had every right to set the rules, and all those who wanted to daven by those rules where more then welcome to come. In such a situation, given that you’re not outright embarrassing or insulting someone, no Mechila is necessary. He was a little taken aback, and although there was no minyan improvement process in place, the intention was for this to be more than a place to daven, it was to be a place for the daveners. What he was telling me was that he wanted to change from a minyan to a tzibbur.

When it comes down to it, a minyan is a place for davening, while a tzibbur is a place for people. I took the Gabbai at his word and gave him three potential improvements, which from a different perspective could be viewed as three complaints. After thinking about it further I came to the conclusion that the main thing that distinguishes a minyan from a tzibbur are the complaints. In a Tzibbur the members are the group and therefore they have a right to express their opinion, which are often perceived by the leadership as complaints.

I’m not sure if the Shacharis minyan should make the transition. The people are generally very happy with the minyan. It takes work to build a Tzibbur and perhaps a weekday only minyan doesn’t have the necessary commitment. I’ll keep you posted.

Some Great Shul Experiences in Woodmere

Shul choice varies greatly from location to location. In densely populated areas, one might have the choice of over 25 shuls within a 10 minute radius, while in areas with fewer Jews, the choice may be as few as one or two shuls in the same area. Wherever you are, the experience can be maximized.

I had the pleasure of spending last Shabbos in Woodmere, a relatively affluent Modern Orthodox community in the Five Towns area of Long Island. My friends are members of Aish Kodesh, but in the summer time, when Mora the D’Asra, Rabbi Moshe Weinberger, is out of town and the weather is hot, they often skip the 20 minute walk and daven locally. Locally in this case means minyanim in people’s houses.

On Friday night we walked across the street to a minyan in a neighbor’s house. There were about 25 men in attendance including a number of black hatted yeshivish sons of the residents. The davening made a tremendous impression. It was a well paced, extremely spirited, Carlbach nusach with everybody in attendance participating in the many niggunim (songs). It was quite inspirational and I was informed that every week they daven Carlbach style. Nobody was in a rush, they were there to start their Shabbos on an extremely high note. After davening people shmoozed for 5-10 minutes.

On Shabbos morning we walked 5 minutes along the winding roads of the Woodsburgh section of Woodmere, until we arrived in a Shul situated in greenhouse side room. This Shul, which has been running for 29 years, has a Hashkama minyan at 7:30 am and the regular minyan is at 9:15 am. In the house itself, there is an area for women.

By the end of davening over 60 men had joined us to participate in the second minyan. The Baalei Tefillah and the Baalei Koreh were very good, and the davening ended around 11:15 am, but was most impressive was the decorum and kavod for the tefillah. Dr. Thurm, the homeowner and Gabbai runs the show efficiently as he hands out the kibbudim (the honors), picks the Baalei Tefillah and makes sure the well stocked weekly kiddush is ready on time. There is a membership fee which covers the cost of the non-sponsored kiddush, the heating, the cooling, and other expenses. It was a tremendous Kiddush Hashem and a tribute to Dr. Thurm and the participants.

So although I missed davening at Aish Kodesh and it’s legendary spirited davening, I was treated to two private house minyanim where people are going way beyond convenience and creating minyanim of inspiration and kavod (honor) for tefillah and Shabbos. There is an expression “Grow Where Your Planted” and these places go way beyond that cry providing weekly growth opportunities for those who are planted in the Woodmere domain.