Prayer Archives - Shul Politics

The National Holiday Minyan Schedule

For those who get compensated for them, a national holiday is a nice gift. For Shuls they create a little blip, since they have to decide whether to go with the regular schedule, switch to a Sunday Schedule, or some other permutation.

The switch to Sunday schedule seems like a logical move, since most people are off and they like to celebrate with a little more sleep. Even in neighborhoods with many minyanim, people generally prefer praying with the home shul advantage, so accommodating them with a schedule change makes sense.

Following the lead of many Yeshivas, some Shuls prefer not to acknowledge national holidays and keep to their regular schedule.

All things considered, it’s probably slightly better halachically to go with earlier times, although in the winter, when some Shuls daven before sunrise to accommodate working people, the later times would be better.

If you’re a getting things done type of guy, you might prefer the earlier weekday times, so you can get a productivity jump on your day.

Many Shuls daven a little slower on Sundays so that might sway a preference one way or another.

If your Shul can fill all the minyanim, adding an extra later minyan might make sense.

In any case, it’s a good opportunity to perhaps get there a little before the start time, daven a little slower, and stay for the whole thing if that’s not your usual practice.

Davening and the Metaverse

You may have heard that Facebook changed its name to Meta. An article in the WSJ on Wednesday quoted Mark Zuckerberg as saying that Facebook, now Meta, will spend $10 billion dollars this year in pursuit of the metaverse. The metaverse represents a digital reality where people playing through avatars would be able to attend concerts with friends or try on clothes in stores, just as they would offline, out in the real world. Evan Spiegel, the Snapchat CEO, responded with some Mussar and said his company is more interested in augmented reality because it is grounded in the real world that we share.

I happened to try on a Facebook virtual reality headset the other day and it’s really cool. Many financial analysts think the metaverse will be really big, as people are constantly in search of new forms of entertainment and distraction. The Mesillas Yesharim agrees with this last point and teaches that distraction is the first major obstacle on our path of spiritual growth. The other are laziness, our desire for physical pleasure and self-centeredness.

Distraction really comes into the picture during davening. We have the opportunity to petition the Master of the Universe and instead we get distracted with our own personal metaverse. That’s how Hashem created us, but He wants us to try to focus on His reality and fill our lives with learning, mitzvos, praying and chesed.

We can begin our escape from the metaverse the next time we are about to begin Shemoneh Esrai. The Mesillas Yesharim suggests that we stop and think that we are about to petition the Master of the Universe. We will get distracted, but this initial focus should get us through the first Baruch Ata Hashem. Once we begin our escape who knows where it will lead. See you on the other side.

Rosh Hoshanah Baalei Tefillah – Inspiration & Perspiration

Rosh Hoshanah is a day Jews take seriously. However, it’s a long day in Shul and many of us have trouble focusing on the davening for such an extended period. That’s why we turn to the Baalei Tefillah for inspiration. The first problem we face is that what’s inspirational to Shmuel, can sound kvetchy to Reuven. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to find Baalei Tefillah who will please everybody, and it’s impractical to implement a fully democratic selection process

Another issue is that being a Baal Tefillah is not easy. It takes much preparation and perspiration to be at your best for the entire davening. Perhaps Baalei Tefillah insist on choosing their own niggunim in certain parts of the davening for self-inspiration. Our Shul had a particular niggun that we liked, and even though we asked a few different Baalei Tefillah to use it, none of them complied with our request.

The length of the davening creates other tensions. The variance in the time it takes individuals to say Shemoneh Esrai is great, because of its length, and the extra care many people take on the Yomim Noraim. If the Baal Tefillah takes much longer than the average congregant, there can be much down time for individuals as they wait for him to finish. The overall davening time is also important because people have different expectations as to when Mussaf will end.

One suggestion is to state the Shul’s expectations when the Baal Tefillah is first selected/hired. If the expectations are not met, sometimes the Rabbi, Gabbai and Baal Tefillah can get together and agree on a game plan that works for most people. It’s also helpful to let the members know how long the silent Shomoneh Esrai will be so they can set their expectations and davening speed accordingly. Finally, even if there initially are some issues, over the course of the years, people know what to expect from the Baal Tefillah and accept it.

Despite best efforts, the details of the long davening can create some minor tensions. In those situations it’s a good opportunity to judge favorably in the hope that measure for measure, Hashem will give us a favorable judgment.

Our Orthodox Life – Not to be Confused with a Netflix Series with a Similiar Name

To me the wonder of Orthodox Judaism is the ability to make connections. We can take a simple breakfast and with the right blessings and focus, we can use it to serve and connect to Hashem.

But it’s the connections to people that really awes me about Torah Judaism. Three times a day we gather with different groups of people and we spend 15 to 60 minutes praying to Hashem. We are creating an amazing act of collective spiritual in service in these minyanim. I was in Boro Park recently and I went into a Chassidish Steibel to daven Maariv. We were all on the same page despite the differences in our backgrounds. Just 10+ plus people trying to elevate our souls together.

At a recent wedding I witnessed a couple in their forties, marrying off their 1st child to a couple in their seventies, who were marrying off their 12th. I knew the parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles of the Kallah. While I had learned Torah with the uncles of the Choson as did two of my son-in-laws. The truth is that at every wedding, every person in the room is connected in joy and celebration with the new bride and groom. Our Orthodox lives are packed with shared joy.

And then comes Shabbos, where we get to connect and spend some pleasurable and spiritual quality time with our family and closest of friends. The best part of every week is connected to these special people in our homes and in our Shuls.

The Orthodox Life – what a truly wonderful life!

Missing an Opportunity

People come to Shul on Shabbos morning for one of the following main reasons: 1) The Davening; 2) The Rabbi; 3) The Socialization.

Some attribute the spectacular rise of Covid backyard minyans, to the fact that socialization is the main driver for many, and the backyard minyanim provide a better socialization venue. They’re like Shteibels on steroids, where the participants make the rules.

I personally value the socialization aspect of our Shuls very highly, and long for the days when we can gather for a kiddush, Shalosh Seudos and public shiurim. However, I think we have unfortunately missed an opportunity for serious spiritual growth through improved davening.

Remember our renewed commitments to davening as we prayed alone in our homes for 10 Covid weeks? And now that we’re back, what happened? Yes, we have to deal with the whos, wheres and how longs of social distanced davening. But when we’ve stepped into that first brocha of Shemoneh Esrai, what’s our excuse? Maybe it’s only me, but I suspect others have also not taken full advantage of this once in a lifetime opportunity.

It’s not too late. We can still show Hashem how much we appreciate the return to our Shuls.
You give Hashem your attention for 7 minutes, and He’ll give you the world.

Cross posted at Beyond BT.

The Cure for Covid Condensed Congregations

Even before Covid, Shuls were downsizing due to Shtiebelization. Covid drove more downsizing, distancing and davening at dizzying speeds. A friend told me that he can get out of bed at 9:30 am, go to the next door davening tent, and be finished with Shabbos Morning davening by about 10:30 am, with a grab and go kiddush to boot. Perhaps there was a pent-up demand for such davening and Covid just paved the way.

Fortunately the famous Ramban at the end of Parsha Bo revealed the vaccine for this situation. He teaches us that the plagues showed the world that G-d is the source of all existence, who knows all, oversees all, is all powerful, shows favor to the Jews, and communicates to us through prophecy. The purpose of all the commandments is that we should believe in G-d and acknowledge to Him that He created us.

And the purpose of raising our voices in prayer and the purpose of Shuls and the merit of communal prayer is that people should have a place where they can gather and acknowledge that G-d created them and caused them to be and they can publicize this and declare before Him, “We are your creations”.

So the cure for Covid Condensed Congregations is to focus on the purpose of our Shuls and think about Hashem, our creator, as we pray and perform the many mitzvos of Shabbos morning. I think we’re all capable of thinking about Hashem a few times each Shabbos. As we succeed, the spiritual pleasure we experience surely exceeds the pleasure from a shortened faster davening.

Hashem provide the vaccine for spiritual malaise during Yetizias Mitzrayim. Shabbos morning we all have an appointment to get inoculated.

Praise and Thanks For Our Shuls on Chanukah

In the Al hanissim addition on Chanukah we say “they established these eight days to thank and praise Your great name”! It’s a holiday of thankful prayer to Hashem, specifically full Hallel for 8 days.

Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss points out that “the prayer prescription of Chanukah is unique! Unlike all the other festivals, when we feverishly petition Hashem for our needs (i.e., Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur for our very lives, Succoth for water, Pesach for the crops, Shavuos for the trees), on Chanukah we put the emphasis on saying “Thank You!”—”l’hodos u’l’hallel”! A time of unselfish expression of gratitude to our creator!”

And the primary place of our praise and thanks is in the Shul. As the Ramban at the end of Parshas Bo writes “And the purpose of raising our voices in prayer and the purpose of Shuls and the merit of communal prayer is that people should have a place where they can gather and acknowledge that G-d created them and caused them to be and they can publicize this and declare before Him, “We are your creations”.

So it’s an appropriate time to step back from identifying and resolving the issues we confront here regularly and to focus on the unqualified praise and thanks that every Shul deserves.

Definitionally, praise is the expression of approval or admiration for someone or something, while thanks is the gratitude we express when something was done for our benefit.

Every Shul deserves praise. And by Shul I mean both those who run it and those who come to daven. We often take it for granted, but it’s no small thing to have a group come together on an daily or weekly basis to praise, thank and petition Hashem. Every person who comes to daven adds to the collective prayer experience. And those who keep the Shul running are to be praised for establishing and maintaining a place of prayer.

Thanks is often harder than praise, because at its root it’s an admission that we need someone else to provide us with that being provided. Giving thanks challenges our self-sufficiency and that’s one of the underlying reason many people have trouble expressing thanks. But if you allow yourself a moment of vulnerability you will clearly see that despite your neighborhood’s Shul options, the Shul you davened at this week, and last week, and the week before was the one that provided you with the lights, seats, Sefer Torah and service that enabled you to gather with a group of like minded Jews to pray. It’s the one that deserves your thanks.

Although the praise and thanks of Chanukah is primarily directed to Hashem, Hashem want us to improve our abilities in this area and to express praise and thanks in our day to day living. That’s why this a great time to allocate some of our thoughts to the praise and thanks of our Shuls on Chanukah.

In Defense of the Latecomers

I walked into the Neitz minyan one morning, about 10 minutes before the Brochos start time, and the seating Gabbai gave me a thumbs up indicating I was one of the first ten. I was surprised because I’ll often get a good-hearted “tsk tsk you’re late” finger wave if I get there only 10 minutes before the start. It’s one of the things I love about this minyan, and it certainly re-calibrates the definition of coming late.

One past Shabbos, I was involved in a discussion with a friend about coming late. We’ve established two times which have merited lamination on the chazzan’s shtender, 8:37am for the first Kaddish and 8:55am for Borechu. I sometimes find myself in the role of defending the sanctity of those times but my friend had a different take:

“If people don’t want to miss the first Kaddish – they should get here by the 8:30am start time”. – he argued.

“It’s not so easy for people to get here at the start” – I replied.

“If the saying or responding to Kaddish is so important to them, they can get here early” – he retorted.

We went back and forth and I finally put forth this point – “I want to give my teenager the max time to sleep, and I can say brochos at home, but I want to be at the minyan to reply to Kaddish, so that’s why the 8:37 time is sacrosanct to me.”

His silence indicated that he was at least considering this point.

The on-timers vs latecomers also comes up regarding seating:
“If people want their seats, they should come on time”
or “Let’s try to accommodate latecomers by saving their seats – if possible”.

I hear both sides of the argument, but at this point I try to accommodate the latecomers, both for the chesed mileage points earned and because they are the majority.

Searching All Over for Inspirational Prayer

Judaism has the power to put pleasure, happiness, meaning and purpose into our lives 24 by 7. Prayer is one of the primary mechanisms to accomplish our purpose of connecting to Hashem. However, as we’ve discussed previously, prayer is difficult and we need regular inspiration to maintain and elevate our prayer.

One common source of inspiration is the Baalei Tefillah.The right nusach or niggun can emotionally unite and lift the entire Shul. One problem with this source of inspiration is that yesterday’s popular Chazzanos has become today’s unpopular kvetch and cry. In Minyanim with a deep bullpen of younger Baalei Tefillah this is not such a problem, but in some cross-generational Shuls, a regular diet of Baalei Tefillah based inspiration is hard to come by.

A second source of inspiration has unfortunately arrived and that is the Covid crisis. Shuls across the world are saying extra Tehillim. However, this is one source of inspiration that we hope will vanish.

A third source for inspirational prayer is the flame that burns within. It begins with a mental commitment to improve our davening. The flame is raised further by davening slower and by making more effort in concentration. Learning more about the prayers adds a freshness to the familiar words in the prayer books.

Of course not every prayer will be a home run, but finding inspiration from within is the most reliable way to increase our on-base prayer percentage.

Monday Morning Gabbai

Most of the questions seem innocent enough: “Why did we stop there in the Torah leining?”, “Why did Sam get Maftir, does he have a Yahrzeit?”, but the art of being a Monday Morning Gabbai (MMG) can start to cross red lines. Of course the second guessing doesn’t wait to Monday or even Sunday. It usually starts right after davening and sometimes it’s done in real time, even with our Twitter and Facebook feeds turned off for Shabbos.

On one hand it’s good for the members to pay attention to the service, and any halachic related question is certainly worth asking. On Parshas Zachor, we have an extra reading after Mussaf for women who couldn’t make it for the Shacharis leining. There was a slight switch in the leining and inquiries as to what happened led to some halachic insights by the Rav.

However some inquiries regarding the Baalei Tefillah and who gets kibbudim, call into question the judgement of the Gabbai. Accountability is normally a healthy thing, but when we’re talking about volunteers, and specifically a job like the Gabbai, which is one of the most difficult in the Shul, we have to be careful, sensitive and appreciative to the person who accepts this role week in and week out. He has to regularly make judgment calls on the spot, and it’s impossible to be perfect, so we need to cut him a little more slack.

We were playing MMG this Shabbos and trying to figure out why a certain protocol was not followed. I’m good friends with the Gabbai and I asked him politely, after davening, what went into the decision. He related the details, which is what we figured, and he even said I could post about it on Shul Politics.

Good Gabbais are hard to come by, so treat yours with the appreciation and respect he deserves.

Tapping into the Awe

I used to go away with my family to a Rosh Hoshana retreat where a few of the Rabbis would audibly cry during the “Who will live and who will die” portions of Unesanneh Tokef. Since I wasn’t able to reach their levels of fear, the crying made me a little uncomfortable. People have told me they also feel uncomfortable if the Baal Tefillah is davening from a crying/fear perspective.

Rabbi Bentzion Shafier of the Shmuz, in the first audio of his free 9 part series on the Lost Art of Teshuva, asks how is it that we are not in total fear, given that it is the Day of Judgement, which has extremely important implications. He answers that since we don’t see the immediate affect of the Rosh Hashanah Judgement, its implications do not affect us strongly emotionally. Please listen to the audio to hear Rabbi Shafier’s remedies for this situation.

Rav Itamar Shwarz, the author of the Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh, starts us on a path to another remedy:

On Yom HaDin, there are two kinds of yirah: yiras haonesh (fear of punishment) and yiras haromemus (fear of Hashem’s greatness). The first kind of fear is possible even from a human king, but the second kind of yirah is only possible toward Hashem. On Rosh HaShanah, the kind of yirah to have – the way of Chassidus – is to have yiras haromemeus, fear of Hashem’s greatness; that Yom HaDin is not simply to fear punishment, but to be afraid of being distanced from closeness to Hashem. With Chassidus, the person isn’t being afraid of the judgment of Yom HaDin, but of the fear of not being close to Hashem.

The closeness to Hashem on Rosh HaShanah that everyone can grasp is that Hashem exists. All of Aseres Yemei Teshuvah are days of closeness to Hashem, but Rosh HaShanah is the climax of this closeness – because now, a person is standing before the King in judgment; not because the person is afraid of the judgment, but because a person feels such a closeness to Hashem during judgment.

This Rosh Hoshanah, when you hear the crying, let it remind of you of Hashem’s awesomeness. He is the King of the entire world and the fate of everything and everyone is in His hands. When we’re focused on how awesome Hashem is, we can yearn for, and be thankful, that we can have a relationship with Hashem, in all his awesomeness. We can use the lower fear, to tap into the higher awe, and take the next step towards increasing our connection and love for Hashem. It transforms the crying into a whole new light.

Addressing Our Davening Problem

We’re in a crisis situation. A situation which calls for us to storm the heavens with our prayers. So we step into our Shemoneh Esrai committed to do our best, and before we know it we’ve lost focus. What can we do? The first thing to know is that you’re not alone, almost everybody has the davening problem to some degree. The second thing to know is that we can improve. Here’s a path.

Davening is about connecting to Hashem in heart and mind. To connect to Hashem, we have to think about Hashem. A very important time to think about Hashem is when we’re praying and saying His Name. The Shulchan Aruch teaches that when saying the name Hashem, “we should concentrate on the meaning of how it is read, referring to His Lordship, that He is the Master of all.”

The Shulchan Aruch also says that “we should concentrate on (how it is written) the Yud-Hei – that He was, is, and always will be”, but the Mishna Berurah brings down in the name of the Gra, that this second meaning is only required when we say Hashem’s name in the Shema.

Is there any doubt in our mind that Hashem is the Master of all? He has brought the entire world to a standstill before our very eyes! When we say Hashem’s name in the brochos of Shomoneh Esrai, we should think and recognize that Hashem is the Master of all.

Start with the the first Brocha. If you catch yourself wandering in the middle of any brocha, bring yourself back to thinking about Hashem’s name when you conclude the Brocha. Don’t get discouraged when you’re not successful, just keep on making the effort. With repeated step by step effort, you’ll develop the ability to focus on Hashem’s name during davening.

We have to do our stop-the-spread hishtadlus. But more importantly, we have to turn and think about the Master of all in prayer. If not now, when?

What Shul Will We Come Back To?

Hashem has closed our Shuls and we can’t know the exact reason. However, we can think about what we want our Shuls to look like when we come back. Reducing talking about secular subjects and cell phone activity are reasonable suggestions. And it’s also possible that Hashem wants us to try to daven a little better.

Last week we mentioned that the emotional connections that we are seeking to develop during davening are love of Hashem and awe of Hashem. We mentioned that every time we say the word Boruch, which is usually explained as Hashem being the source of blessing, we can appreciate the love that Hashem is showering on us with His gifts in this world. We can then try to direct our love right back at Him.

Let’s take a look at awe. The second of the six constant mitzvos is that we should not believe in any G-d but Him. There is nothing in the world that takes place without Hashem’s authority and we need to subjugate ourselves to His authority. The Mishna Berurah (M.B. 93.2.4) points out that this is sometimes difficult, but we can take a small step.

When we say the word Atah, meaning You, we can envision that we are talking directly to Hashem, the Ultimate Authority. We can realize that he is our Ultimate boss and we need to listen and subjugate ourself to His commands. Each Brocha is an opportunity to try and feel this awe. Perhaps once each day we can feel the awe, when we say Atah.

Spiritual growth is a gradual process and every effort we make, no matter how seemingly small, contributes to that growth. We can use our time davening alone to focus on our love and awe of Hashem when we say Boruch Atah. When our Shuls reopen, we can rededicate them with our improved davening.

Connecting to Your Baal Tefillah

It’s not uncommon for people to have an opinion about the Baal Tefillah. He’s going to slow. He’s going to fast. He’s singing too much. He’s not singing enough. He’s putting on a performance. He’s not inspiring the Tzibbur. These opinions take on different intensities depending on whether it’s Yomim Noraim, Yom Tov, Shabbos or during the week.

In the secular world, everybody is entitled to their opinion, but in the Torah world our goal is to work towards the day when “Hashem is One and His Name is One”. If we are not united as a people, we will not reach that goal. Everyday time we have a negative opinion of the Baal Tefillah we disrupt the spiritual unity of the Shul at some level, even if we don’t express it.

Here are a few Baalei Tefillah prototypes. We might disagree with them, but if we consider that this may be where our Baal Tefillah is coming from, it can lessen our frustration and the resulting dis-unity.

1) The Quick davener is trying to get the repetition over with as soon as possible.

2) The Slow davener is following the halacha of not “throwing” a blessing from his mouth, rather he is concentrating and making the blessing calmly.

3) The Inspirational davener is here to inspire and will sing many nigunim.

4) The Non Inspirational davener wants to daven the best that he can to help lift all the prayers to Shemayim.

5) The Performing davener is using his G-d given talents to inspire to help lift the prayers.

6) The Pareve davener is only up there because the Gabbai asked him and he’s doing the best he can.

The Torah wants us to to give the Baal Tefillah the benefit of the doubt and keep connected to him. If you want to take the next step, you can follow the halacha and follow along with the Baal Tefillah and answer Amen to each brocha.

Klal Yisroel needs all our prayers, here’s one small step to make them better.

Keeping Quiet – How to Talk to Talkers in Shul

Should We Ever Talk in Shul
It is clear from this summary of the halachos of talking in Shul by Rabbi Doniel Neustadt, that much of the time a person should not be taking in Shul. In the time periods where it is permitted, I agree with those who point out that a Shul is both a place to daven and a place to relate to members of our community and therefore permitted talking serves a positive function. For this post we’ll focus on how to reduce prohibited talking.

Reasons to Reduce Talking
At its core we should reduce talking because it’s against the halacha, but I think there are three reasons people want to stop the talking:
1) Out of concern for the talker and their violation of the halacha;
2) It personally disturbs our davening or Shul experience; and
3) It goes against the environment that the Shul is trying to maintain

Concern for the Talker
It’s usually rare to find this reason in practice, because hostility towards the talker is the prevalent emotion. This hostility is manifest in both the shush and outright embarrassment of the talker.

If we are truly concerned about the talker, we should think of ways we can be effective in helping them stop. This involves being friendly and showing concern for them and quietly and privately suggesting that they adjust the times they talk or to go to the lobby to talk. A person has to assess each person and determine what, if anything, will be effective in influencing the talker, as we must do with all types of tochacha (rebuke).

Disturbing Our Davening
Thank G-d more and more people take their davening seriously these days. We’ve pointed out previously that davening is difficult and unwanted talking distractions often annoy us. A general suggestion is to constantly work on our concentration so the talking disturbs us less. If we have a relationship with the talker, we can sometimes appeal to him to reduce or stop his talking for our benefit.

If the talking still disturbs us, it is often wise to refer the issue to the Gabbai, President or Rabbi and ask them to make an effort to deal with it. We can also appeal to the people who listen to the talker, to signal to the talker that they will converse with them later.

Against The Shul’s Principles
In the increasingly competitive Shul environment in larger neighborhoods, many Shuls are looking to be known as having a quiet davening, which is a worthwhile goal in its own right. In some Shuls, members are asked to sign explicit contracts that they agree to abide by the minimal talking principles.

It is the responsibility of the authority structure of the Shul to enforce the Shul’s principles. When we take the matters into our own hands, the talker will often question our authority in asking them to stop talking. The issue will sometimes unfortunately be deflected from the proper focus of reducing talking, to that of who has the authority to ask for quiet.

Going Too Far
Some of us have been in the situation where our desire for quiet has caused us to embarrass the talker. Even if this would be permitted in certain situations, it is certainly not what we or the Shul want to become. Unfortunately some quiet Shuls are known for publicly embarrassing talking, which seems to be inconsistent with Torah ideals.

We need to use intelligence and discretion in this worthy cause. Sometimes we can let the talking go, but we have to be vigilant that it doesn’t get out of hand. We need to distinguish between the most important times for quiet, like Shomoneh Esrai, the repetition, and the reading of the Torah and other times where there is more room to look the other way.

As we pursue this goal, we need to maintain a friendly, warm and caring atmosphere and not turn the Shul into a battleground.

Orginally posted February 2012

Mourning the Destruction and Cell Phone Glancing

The internal conversation goes something like this: I don’t talk in Shul. My phone, text and email are set for relatively non-disturbing vibrating alerts. I get to minyan more or less on time. And I don’t even look at my phone during Shema or Shemoneh Esrai. So what’s the big deal if I glance at my phone when I get an alert during the davening down times?

My good friend, Rabbi Moshe Schwerd, provided a fairly compelling answer in a shiur about Mourning the Beis HaMikdash, which you can download here. He explained that Hashem took away our primary portal for connecting to Him when He destroyed the two Temples because of our sins. However, He did leave us with one primary prayer portal, the Shul. And now we’re blocking up that portal, with a disrespectful approach to prayer and to our Shuls.

Rabbi Schwerd illustrated this by explaining that call waiting is the only way we can insult two people in 5 seconds. First we tell the person with whom we’re talking to hold on because we want to see if the person on the incoming call is more important. And when we find out that he/she isn’t, we tell them we’ll call back because the first person is more important. Of course we don’t use those words, but that’s the message we’re sending and the message we send everytime we interrupt any conversation to check our phone.

The Shul is Hashem’s house. Even when we’re not davening we’re there for an encounter with the Master of the Universe. Do we really want to put Hashem on hold when we come to meet Him? Would we check our phone during a meeting with the President or our boss when asking for a raise? If we want to develop a relationship, shouldn’t we have the courtesy to pay attention?

So the answer to the opening question, is yes, it’s a big deal to glance at our phone. Hashem wants our attention in Shul. He knows it’s hard to have kavana during Peskukei D’Zimra, Shema and Shemoneh Esrai, but He also knows that we can put the phone away for the 40, 15 and 12 minutes at Shacharis, Mincha and Maariv respectively. Listen to Rabbi Schwerd’s shiur and think about it.

Davening Down Time and AFAHP

Davening down time are the periods in the service when you’re not actively davening, such as taking out the Torah, Kaddish, and the repetition of Shemoneh Esrai. These are the times when boredom sets in and inappropriate behaviors like texting and talking will increase.

Another consequence of davening down time is the birth of AFAHP. It has become an admirable trait in many weekday minyanim for the Sheliach Tzibbur (Shatz) to repeat the Shemoneh Esrai as fast as humanly possible (AFAHP) without making mistakes. Some people are quite good at this, while it creates a general expectation on every Shatz to daven faster. Although many people support this practice with cries of Tirchei D’ Tzibbur, I think our current average speed is over the limit intended by Chazal.

Another effect of AFAHP is the perpetuation of the mentality of getting out of Shul as soon as possible. In its extreme form, this has led to the creation of the matzah minyan which allegedly finishes an entire weekday Shacharis in 18 minutes. This devalues the experience of davening in Shul, which is quite unfortunate given the fact that minyan-goers put in considerable time and effort to daven with a minyan. Shouldn’t we be looking to increase the benefits of this experience rather than trying to getting out of there as soon as possible.

One suggestion is to calculate a range of how long the repetition should take and publicize it. For a weekday mincha the formula is:
Repetition Time = Total Allotted Time – Silent Shemoneh – 4-7 minutes (for Ashrei, Tachanun, Aleinu and Kaddishes).
A part of this exercise includes increasing our appreciation of our God-facing activities like being in Shul, and possibly lengthening the total allotted time.

Another idea is to productively use our davening down time as stated in the Shulchan Aruch 124:4 – “When the Shatz repeats the Shemoneh Esrai, the congregation should be silent and apply their minds to the blessings made by the Shatz and respond Amen to them”. If we look in the siddur and follow along we can greatly increase the connection to Hashem that davening can enable.

Davening with a minyan is a tremendous opportunity for collective spiritual growth, especially if we do it with a little less speed, a little more care and a little more consciousness.

Judaism’s Little Secret – It’s Hard to Pray

The Secret
A big issue, when it comes to Shuls and Jews, is that davening is very difficult. This is not pointed out very often from the pulpit, possibly because it would discourage people from making the necessary efforts to improve.

Why is Davening Difficult
One of the reasons that prayer is difficult is because it is very complex. In Shacharis, the morning prayer service, there are five distinct parts 1) brachos and korbonos, 2) Pesukei D’Zimrei (songs of praise) 3) Shema and its Berachos, 4) Shemoneh Esrai, 5) End of service. Each part requires different applications of our emotional, intellectual and spiritual components. Davening is also difficult because the act of speaking to G-d is a very abstract process. The third major difficulty is keeping focused and maintaining focus, a problem whose existence is evident from the halacha for hundreds of years. This has certainly become worse over the years as our world has become a more distracted place.

Bad Habits are Hard to Break
People learn to daven very early in life when they don’t have the intellectual maturity to understand its depths. As a result the “Shake and Fake” process, as the kids sometimes call it, gets baked into a potentially lifelong bad habit of going through the motions. Years of Shul going in the early years can also effect our approach to davening.

The Problem for Shuls
As we’ve pointed out in previous posts, one of the primary purposes of gathering together at Shul is to pray. If people are not focused on the prayer process, then the Shul will not be aligned around the goal of providing a great prayer environment. The result of this misalignment leads to problems like talking, speed of davening and structure of the prayer service, which we’ve discussed. In non-Observant Shuls, the disconnect from prayer has been described as a leading cause of the Decline of the Great American Non-Orthodox Synogogue.

What We Can We Do
The first step is to educate people to the fact that almost everyone has trouble with concentration during davening, but with effort we can improve over time. Providing shiurim and starting vaadim (groups working on improving) is a great step in the right direction. Sharing experiences that worked among members can encourage the attitude that if my neighbor has improved, then so can I. From a Shul Politics perspective it’s important to keep “providing a great place to daven” high on the Shul’s agenda even if we’re not at the level we would like to be regarding prayer.

Is Shushing Worse Than Talking in Shul?

The Importance of Maintaining Decorum
The laws regarding behavior in Shul discourage most talking. This great set of Synogogue Guidelines by Rabbi Michael Taubes demonstrates the severity of the prohibition of unnecessary conversation and what degree of quiet is required during the various parts of davening.

Our Motivation for Quiet
Despite general knowledge of the laws, people make mistakes and sometimes talk during inappropriate times during davening. This even happens in quiet Shuls. When talking happens we would like it to stop, motivated by a combination of the following factors:
– eliminating something that is disturbing or distracting to us
– preventing the talker from committing a transgression
– helping the Shul to have the proper decorum

Is Shushing Effective?
One of the popular ways to try to stop talking is the shush. It’s certainly better than telling a person to shut-up and perhaps it’s rooted in preventing embarrassment. Although shushing will often result in the talking stopping, without dealing with the underlying causes it’s a stopgap measure and the talking will continue. Another issue regarding shushing is who has the authority to deal with talking, ofttimes it’s not the shusher.

Is Shushing Disruptive?
Sometimes the shushing is more disruptive then the talking, since the talking is often quiet, while the shushing is heard by many. Depending how it is done, shushing can be embarrassing to the talkers, which some people feel is justified, although others feel it is inappropriate. When the shushing continues through the service, it can be a real disruption.

So How Do We Stop Talking?
The most effective strategies involve the Rabbi, Officers and membership. It make senses to identify the major problems. Then determine what areas makes sense to target first. Then try to implement a gentle plan to achieve the first goal. Measure the effect, make changes if necessary, and repeat the process until an acceptable level is achieved.

Naitz Waits for No Man

It must have been 15 years ago. The davening in my morning minyan was a little fast for me. To make matters worse, the davening speed difference often left me in a situation where I davened faster to keep up, only to find myself waiting for the Baal Tefillah to finish the Shema. We already had a fixed pace for Pesukei D’Zimra, so I suggested to the Rabbi, that we add some additional split times, before and after the Shema. The Rabbi told me that such an enactment would drive the Baalei Tefillah crazy.

Here I am 15 years later, davening from the Amud as an Avel for the first time in my life at a Nusach Sefard Naitz minyan. The first rule of a Naitz minyan is that you have to start Shemoneh Esrai after sunrise. Although poskim have said that there is at least a one minute allowance here, many Naitz-goers want to get as close as possible. If you start 10 seconds late, you start to enter the danger zone.

To try to hit the Naitz time as close as possible, we have a rule of thumb to hit Tehilas 30 seconds before sunrise. There’s another rule to start Emes V’Yateziv two minutes before sunrise.

From the beginning of Berachos, there is a set four minutes to Rabbi Yishmael, five minutes to Hodu and 16 minutes to Borechu, with a consistent pace for Pesukei D’Zimra on the way to Borechu. There’s also a suggested limit of 7 minutes for the private Shomoneh Esrai, 6 minutes for Chazra HaShas and 50 minutes from start to finish. So here is what the suggested splits would look like if Naitz was at 6:24 am.

Start: 6:00
Rabbi Yishmael: 6:04
Hodu: 6:05
Borechu: 6:16
Emes V’Atziv: 6:22
Tehilas: 6:23:30
Naitz: 6:24
Chazaras HaShatz: 6:31
Viduy: 6:37
Finished: 6:50

Now I understand what my Rabbi meant when he said it would drive the Baal Tefillah crazy. To tell you the truth, it does get easier as time goes by. Besides the minyan is the slowest non-Yeshiva minyan in town. The people take their davening seriously. And if you’re not davening from the Amud, it’s a real pleasure.

Postscript: It could be worse. Here is an article about the time pressures at other Vasikin Minyanim.

Originally Published August 2014

The Ramban on the Purpose of Shuls

The Ramban Synagogue, which was founded by the Ramban in 1267 and is the second oldest active synagogue in the Old City of Jerusalem. If you’re in Eretz Yisroel, try to daven there. The Ramban in his Torah Commentary at the end of Parsha Bo explains the purpose of Shuls. Here’s the Ramban:

“When one does a simple mitzvah like mezuzah and thinks about its importance, he has already acknowledged G-d’s creation of the world, G-d’s knowledge and supervision of the world’s affairs, the truth of prophecy and all the foundations of Torah. In addition he has acknowledged G-d’s kindness towards those that perform His will, for He took us from bondage to freedom in great honor in the merit of our forefathers.

That is why Chazal say, be careful in performing a minor commandment as a major one, for all of them are major and beloved since through them a person is constantly acknowledging his G-d. For the objective of all the commandments is that we should believe in G-d and acknowledge to Him that He created us.

In fact this is the purpose of creation itself, for we have no other explanation of creation. And G-d has no desire, except that man should know and acknowledge the G-d that created him. And the purpose of raising our voices in prayer and the purpose of Shuls and the merit of communal prayer is that people should have a place where they can gather and acknowledge that G-d created them and caused them to be and they can publicize this and declare before Him, “We are your creations”.

A powerful statement. When we gather and daven in Shul we’re directly fulfilling the purpose of creation. Certainly puts things in a clarifying perspective.

Slow Down, You Pray Too Fast, Got to Make the Service Last Now…

A friend recently asked “Why do we often say Brochos quickly?”.
The Mesillas Yesharim helps to explain why, and provides a practical path to the remedy.

In the introduction, the Ramchal points out that serving Hashem is not a natural and automatic process, like eating and sleeping. Therefore, we have to first learn what it means to serve Hashem. Then we need to make a serious concerted effort to improve and reach adequate levels of service, since this is the reason why we were created.

The basis of our service of Hashem, is Deutoronomy 10:12 in Parshas Eikev: “And now, Israel, what does Hashem, your God, ask of you? Only…
– to fear (be in awe of) Hashem, your God,
– to go in His ways,
– to love Him,
– to serve Hashem, your God, with all your heart and all your soul,
– to observe the commandments of Hashem and His decrees, which I command you today, for your benefit. “

The Ramchal writes about each of these components, beginning with the loftiest, summarized as follows:
1) fear (awe) of Hashem – like we would fear (be in awe of) a great and awesome king;
2) walking in His ways – refining character traits and reducing self-centeredness, leading to improved relationships;
3) love – in our heart, and being inspired to please Him, like we would want to please our parents;
4) wholeheartedness – doing mitzvos with a focus on serving and connecting to Hashem, with devotion, not by rote; and
5) observance of all the mitzvos – with all their fine points and conditions.

The reason why we say Brochos quickly is that we are focused on the what of the mitzvah, which is just saying it. However, to serve Hashem properly, we need to also focus on the why – consciously connecting to Hashem through the mitzvos, and the how — doing the mitzvos wholeheartedly, with love, without self-centeredness, and with fear.

Improving our service is a process.
A good place to begin this process is by saying one Brocha each day with more focus.

This is what we can focus on when we say a Brocha:
“Baruch” makes us aware that Hashem is the source of all blessing.
“Atah” focuses us on the fact that we’re talking directly to Hashem.
“Hashem” in it’s Yud Kei Vav Kei form, signifies that Hashem always existed and is the source of our existence.
“Elokeinu” says that He is the ultimate authority over all physical and spiritual creations.
“Melech” brings that authority to a more concrete Kingship.
“HaOlam” recognizes that His Kingship extends to the entire universe.

We should share many simchos and continue to travel together on the path of improving our Service of Hashem.

In honor of the upcoming wedding of my daughter.

Pesach, People and Prayers

A number of years ago, a friend bought us a big mural for our Succah that depicted the approach to the Beis HaMikdash during Yom Tov. That image, coupled with memories of tunnel tours and visiting the Old City, paints a picture in my mind of what it will be like when we all gather in Yerushalayim during the Yom Tovim when the Beis HaMikdash is rebuilt. We will have an amazing opportunity for collective spiritual growth.

We needn’t wait for Moshiach to experience some of this. In fact the Ramban writes at the end of Parshas Bo: ”And the purpose of raising our voices in prayer and the purpose of Shuls and the merit of communal prayer is that people should have a place where they can gather and acknowledge that G-d created them and caused them to be and they can publicize this and declare before Him, “We are your creations”.

Every Yom Tov we have the opportunity to experience this growth and particularly on Pesach with its multitude of Hallels. If we can put a little bit of focus into our recitation of Hallel, including the half-Hallels of Chol HaMoed, we can benefit greatly from the Yom Tov, even absent the Beis HaMikdash.

Another major part of Yom Tov is the unity that comes from being with our fellow Jews. On the Yom Tovim millions of Jews will gather together in Yerushalayim. The resulting unity is another key component of growth. We can get a taste of this unity in our Shuls on Yom Tov with all our fellow members and their guests.

Rabbi Yitzchak Kirzner, zt”l, who I had the privilege to learn from for a number of years, said that “All of life is a challenge of not being distracted from the greatness that we can be”. Yom Tov gives us special opportunity to focus on our people and our prayers and thereby grow in our collective greatness.

Chag Kosher V’Someach

Connection In and Out of Town

The Maharal in his commentary on Avos (6:1) says that happiness flows from completeness, just as grief is the result of loss and deficiency. One of the things that make us feel complete is connecting to the people in a community. I spent last Shabbos out-of-town and the degree of connection among the members was palpable. In an out-of-town shul or community each person’s contribution is needed more, leading to a greater sense of connection. This is a great benefit of an out-of-town community.

Connection and happiness can be improved in any community. Rav Itamar Shwartz, the author of the popular Bilvavi and Da Es seforim, teaches the goal of chesed is to increase our connection to others. There are many opportunities to give in our Shuls, on an institutional or personal level. In my morning minyan, there is a gentleman who moves the talaisim from storage to each person’s seat. This act creates an unbelievable bond between him and the members. We can all look for opportunities to do these acts of chesed, thereby increasing our connection to others.

In addition to acts of kindness, we can also create connections in our minds and hearts. On the flight home, I was on a small 240 seat plane and there were 11 orthodox Jews who all happened to be sitting in the last 3 rows. As we took off I observed several of them saying Tehillim and/or Tefillas HaDerech. At that point I felt a strong connection to a group that was collectively acknowledging our Creator. As the Ramban at the end of Parsha Bo writes “the purpose of raising our voices in prayer and the purpose of Shuls and the merit of communal prayer is that people should have a place where they can gather and acknowledge that G-d created them and caused them to be and they can publicize this and declare before Him, ‘We are your creations’”.

Our purpose in life is to connect to G-d and to connect to other people with our thoughts, emotions and actions. In the process, we increase our happiness and more importantly take a step towards that day when “Hashem will be One and His Name will be One”.

No Frills Davening

I attended the Torah UMesorah Convention recently, which is an amazing gathering of Teachers and Principals seeking to improve the quality of Limudei Kodesh education in our schools. On Shabbos morning the main minyan began at 8:15 AM with a Hashkama minyan at 7:00 AM. More men attended the Hashkama minyan than the main minyan. It could’ve been the earlier ending time, the lack of speeches, the faster davening or the early kiddush which attracted the bigger crowd. An unscientific small sampling said it was a combination of these factors that contributed to the Hashkama preference.

While discussing this with a friend, he mentioned that he also liked a no-frills davening – adding no misheberachs and minimal announcements to the list of potential benefits. I sometimes opt for a no-frills davening and had planned on attending the convention Hashkama minyan, but my alarm failed. I was planning on joining the main minyan for the speeches as I’ve done at past conventions. As it turned out the main minyan davening and speeches were great.

One might assess this as a different strokes for different folks discussion. Shmuel likes no-frills, Yaakov likes full-frills and Reuvain likes some-frills. Thank G-d many communities can support different options. Nothing to see here, move on, move on. However, I think the growing no-frills preference is a problem. Although ending early with a morning Kiddush is a benefit, the avoidance of speeches diminshes the impact of learning Torah B’Rabbim, one of the most powerful spiritual group activities. Not all speeches are created equal, but attendance is minimally a show of respect for the speaker and for Torah. Faster davening is also of questionable benefit, although I recognize that davening is difficult for many Jews.

However, the problem with no frills davening goes beyond a pros-vs-cons balance sheet. G-d willing this will be elaborated on in a week or two.

Shabbos Davening at the Holiest Place on Earth

Davening in Yerushalayim is an amazing eclectic experience. In just five days I’ve experienced the Zichron Moshe and Malchei Tzedek minyan factories of Geula, Vasikin at the Kotel, Kabbalos Shabbos at the Mir, Mincha in Meron, and Shabbos Morning at the Holiest Place on Earth.

My friend who has been living and learning in the Old City for the past 40 years davens Shabbos morning at an Old City Yeshivish Ashkenaz minyan deep in the tunnel at the Kotel. The location makes it the closest minyan to the Kodesh Kodashim. My friend has a makom kavuah at the wall, where my son and I joined him for Shabbos.

The start time (this week at 8:30 pm) is 40 minutes before the Gaon’s zman for Krias Shema with a slow Shema and Shemoneh Esrai and no additional lag time, for a total of one hour and 45 minutes from Mizmor Shiur to Shiur Shel Yom. Although the time was straight and orderly, the seats are amazingly scattered, as can be expected at the Kotel. Because my friend is an upstanding minyan regular, I was honored with an Aliyah, and the trek to and back to the bimah was quite an obstacle course – but obviously well worth it.

Even with an inspirational location at the Holiest Place on Earth, comfortable speeds, and an amazing seat, davening is a Service of the Heart, which means what really matters is what’s going on inside the head. So when it comes down to it, it’s not only where you are, but where your head is at.

Greetings of Peace from Yerushalayim!

Pillars, People and Prayer

One of the early considerations for a Shul is where will it be located? Will we rent or will we build? How will we pay for the pillars? These are not trivial issues, but they’ve been adequately addressed by many Shuls.

After the pillars, we need the people. A Rabbi to fill the primary role of spiritual leader. Some active-for-life members in some key roles. And the officers, board and committee members who keep the Shul running smoothing.

After the pillars and people are in place, we need to focus on the purpose of it all. The primary reason we’ve made all this effort – and that is to pray as a Tzibbur to Our Father in Heaven. Prayer is difficult, but it is an integral part of building a relationship with Hashem. It would be silly to spend so much effort in financing and running a Shul and not put a significant effort into improving our prayers.

Our Rav recently highlighted another aspect to consider. He taught that one of the primary determinants of spiritual success is the company we keep. Our friends have an extremely powerful influence on us. Our approach to prayer effects how others approach their prayers. It’s a self-referential loop which can bring us all to higher levels.

As we approach Rosh Hoshana it’s a great time to work harder on our kavanna during prayer so we can collectively advance in our spiritual mission.

The SP Guide to a 45 Minute Shacharis

As I walked into the 8:00 Shacharis for the bris of a friend’s grandson, I wished him a Mazal Tov and asked about the pace of the davening. The bris had to take place at 8:45 sharp, and he asked my opinion.

I thought it might be worth the effort to sketch out one possible allocation of times for a 45 minute Shacharis in nusach Ashkenaz.

8:00 – Morning Brachos (6 min)
8:06 – First Kaddish, Mizmor Shiur, Second Kaddish (2 min)
8:08 – Pesukei D’Zimra, Kaddish (9 min)
8:17 – Barechu, Brochas before Krias Shema (2 min)
8:19 – Krias Shema (3 min)
8:22 – Brachos after Krias Shema (2 min)
8:24 – Shemoneh Esrai (7 min)
8:30 – Shemoneh Esrai repetition, Kaddish (6 min)
8:36 – Tachanun (1 min)
8:37 – Ashrei, Uva Lezion, Kaddish (3 min)
8:40 – Alenu, Kaddish (2 min)
8:42 – Song of the Day, Kaddish (2 min)
8:45 – End

Morning Brachos in 6 minutes means a lot of skipping, but you can get in the essentials. If you listen and answer amen to the Baal Tefillah’s Brachos you’ll lose a minute of your own davening time there, so get to Shul early.

The Pesukei D’Zimra time is a little fast for my taste. I would prefer 12 minutes, but that wouldn’t work here where we’re constrained to a 45 minute davening.

The most critical time to set for davening is the time from Barechu to the beginning of Shemoneh Esrai. There are the two times when you need the highest level of Kavannah, during the beginning of the Shema and the beginning of Shemoneh Esrai. If people are davening fast during those times it will be harder for them to slow down and focus. An elapsed time of 7 minutes from Barechu to Shemoneh Esrai is a reasonable Kavannah-achievable pace.

The Shomeneh Esrai is when we are standing and talking directly to Hashem, so I think 7 minutes is a good time to allocate there. I’m also a big proponent of a dignified Shomeneh Esrai repetition and 6 minutes is respectful and is safely beyond AFAHP (as fast as humanly possible) range.

The end of davening on this scheduled is a bit rushed for my taste, but we only have 45 minutes. Going slower and being out of sync with the Tzibbur is less of a problem at this point of the davening.

What this exercise has shown me is that we really need 50 minutes for a dignified davening. If we truly realized what could be accomplished in our hearts, minds and the spirtual worlds during Shacharis we would give Hashem 50 minutes in a flash.

Summertime Davening Blues

Sometimes I wonder what I’m a gonna do
But there ain’t no cure for the summertime davening blues

My weekday Shacharis minyan davens the post Shemoneh Esrai portions a tad too fast for me. My solution was to focus on all the other things I love about the minyan and to daven at least once a week at the slower Yeshiva minyan, conveniently housed in the same building. Given that I had a chasanah and a late l’chaim last night, today was the slow davening day.

The summertime, when the Yeshiva is out of session, is an even greater treat because the large Beis Medrash is hosting about 20-30 men, and there is no concern about taking somebody’s regular seat. Although the total davening time is usually the Yeshiva standard 50 minutes from Hodu, it seems a little slower to me in the summer.

This morning, a friend of mine, who has a great Nusach, davened from the Amud and it took 60 minutes from Hodu. When he walked over to say good morning, I was about to tell him how much I appreciated his fine slow davening. Before I could get the words out, a senior yeshiva resident mentioned that the davening was 10 minutes longer than usual and needed to be sped up in the future. My friend handled the criticism with calmness and excellence and earnestly asked for suggestions on where he should speed up.

After that conversation ended, I mentioned to my friend that although I understood the need for speed limits, I really appreciated his davening this morning. Although it ended on a little bit of a blue note, and it is unlikely that it’ll happen again, I am thankful that this particular summer day got off to such a great slow start.

Sometimes I wonder what I’m a gonna do
But there ain’t no cure for the summertime davening blues

Young Israel of Woodmere – Growth Culture Shuls Comes in All Sizes

I’ve written about The Rise of The Growth Culture Shul in the past, but the Young Israel of Woodmere is an example of a large growth culture Shul with many lessons to be learned.

It wasn’t always that way. In a must-read short article from 2007, THE SILENT REVOLUTION: How One Shul Put an End to Talking During Tefillah, Rabbi Danny Frankel (no relation) describes how the Young Israel of Woodmere transformed itself from a culture of non-stop talking to one where hundreds of people have worked on and improved their understanding and practice of prayer.

I was talking to a Baalei Teshuva friend who was a little frustrated with the talking in his Shul. I explained that it is easy for a BT who comes to davening as a mature adult and takes it serious from the start. But many people were exposed to davening when they were younger in Shuls where talking was the norm. Those habits are much harder to break. But the YI of Woodmere did just that, on a grand scale.

Highlights of their effort include:
– Getting a signed commitment for decorum from more than 1,000 members
– Streamlining the davening by 15-30 minutes each Shabbos
– Increasing the coordination and effectiveness of the Gabbaim
– Providing more education on Tefillah, the parsha and the haftorah

It hasn’t stopped there. They’ve have recently announced that Rabbi Shay Schachter has recently joined the Shul and will be starting a new, comprehensive Bais Medrash program. This in addition to an already strong education program headed by their rabbinic team.

When a Shul builds a growth culture it creates a flourishing community regardless of the size. Yasher Koach to the Young Israel of Woodmere!

Appreciating Fast Minyanim

In a previous post, I discussed the Matzah Minyan which allegedly finishes an entire weekday Shacharis is 18 minutes. After reading the article, a friend made some good points about faster davening, which I would like to discuss along with a few points of my own.

Everybody approaches davening in a unique way. I started davening when I was in my twenties and I took it seriously from the start. Even though I’ve worked hard on improving over the years, I still have so far to go in terms of my pronunciation, concentration and understanding. It’s a lifelong pursuit.

People who started davening before their Bar Mitzvah established patterns when they were young. These patterns can be hard to change. Some worked on it more seriously in their late teens and 20s, some in midlife, and some even later. Between the different starting points and different rates of change, we have a wide range of davening speeds and styles, but it’s probably safe to say that we all can improve in this area.

Those committed to a daily minyan have made a serious commitment to their davening. Not everyone takes the trouble to daven every day with a minyan and those that do realize that it will positively affect their davening. It’s no small thing, no matter how fast the minyan or the daveners.

How fast the davening should be in a given minyan filled with a wide range of preferences is not a simple decision. The rule of thumb is probably that it should be as fast as it was yesterday. Hopefully we can find a way to collectively work on improving, but until then the slower daveners can come early and leave late and figure out the proper pace in order to start the Shemoneh Esrai with the Shliach Tzibbur. We’re all in this together and that’s the point that makes us a Tzibbur.

A Tale of Two Minutes

In a recent post, titled Positively Powerful Prayer, I mentioned my short speech at the end of my 11th month of Aveilus. In that speech I encouraged the members of my weekday Naitz minyan to tell the Gabbai that they agreed with his proposition to start our davening two minutes early to be able to say Berachos and Pesukei D’Zimra a little slower.

As it turned out a number of members did speak to the Gabbai and the decision was made to extend the davening by two minutes. I knew from my Shul experience that the nays usually speak louder and active encouragement was needed to get the yays to speak.

The date for the new davening times was set for the 2nd of Nissan or Sunday, March 22nd. It was the day before the Yahrzeit of my father, which I initially thought was on the Monday, the 3rd of Nissan. However, this past Shabbos, the Gabbai Shlishi in my Shabbos Shul, EH, told me that the Shul database had my father’s Yahrzeit listed as Moatzae Shabbos, the 2nd of Nissan.

I checked with my Rav and he informed me that if the burial (kevurah) is 2 or more Hebrew calendar days after the death, then the Yahrzeit in the first year is on the day of burial. If the burial is 1 hebrew calendar day or less within the death, then the first Yahrzeit is on the day of the death. Since the burial in my case was 1 Hebrew calendar day, the first Yahrzeit was on the 2nd of Nisan.

I informed the Naitz minyan Gabbai that I had made a mistake and my father’s Yahrzeit was on Sunday. He said the Amud was mine. After davening, the Gabbai said it was fitting that I davened from the Amud on the first day of our 2 minute extended davening. He mentioned that he had wanted to extend the times, but he was encouraged to propose the move as a result of discussions we had on improving the davening in our minyan. He also mentioned how my appeal to members resulted in a number of people telling the Gabbai they approved of the proposal.

It’s only 2 minutes, but it does make a difference. And that difference will be felt by the approximately 20 people who come on time each day. It comes to over 12,000 minutes of extra davening a year and some of that merit will accrue to my father as a result of my involvement in the davening in his memory. It’s encouraging to see Hashem’s hand helping our efforts to increase the spiritual sensitivity of our Shuls.

I Found The Perfect Minyan

I didn’t really expect to find the perfect minyan on my recent business trip to the National Association of Jewish Day Schools. My weekday minyan davens at Neitz. We daven at a good pace. It’s extremely quiet, and because it’s Neitz, the majority of us are literally on the same page throughout the davening.

At about 6:45 am, I went to the lobby and climbed the staircase lodged between the Starbucks and the Avis Rental Car to get to the 7 am Shacharis. The first nice surprise was that it looked like this first minyan would be unified. It was great to see that Achdus trumped the convenience and practically of a minyan factory, often present at other large Jewish Conventions.

As I scouted out for a good seat, I realized that we would be starting Shomoneh Esrai close to Neitz and sure enough the Gabbai soon announced that we would try to hit Neitz at about 7:17. So far so good. However, the 17 minutes from start to Neitz was much shorter than the 24 minutes I was used to So I had to quickly arrive at a strategy of speed and skip so I could comfortably say the Shema and start with the Tzibbur at Neitz.

It was a good minyan, and then I realized it was a great minyan. There was nothing in the time or the speed that was preventing me from davening a focused Pesukei D’Zimra, Shema and Shemoneh Esrai. The only limitation was mine, and Hashem was granting another opportunity to face it. Here was another opportunity to connect to Hashem, right here, right now – no excuses!

I had finally found the perfect minyan and I’m hoping I’ll be able to find it again within me.

Positively Powerful Prayer

I davened my last Shacharis of my aveilis on Wednesday. My 11 months of saying Kaddish is over on Shabbos, and my Rav said that we should not daven from the Amud in the 12th month. Since the minyan where I daven Shacharis does not allow aveilim to daven on Rosh Chodesh, Wednesday was my last one.

The beginning months were difficult, due to my inexperience, the pressure to daven faster and make more mistakes, and the many corrections that were offered. But, as I entered the final month, the mistakes, corrections and time pressures decreased and it gave me the opportunity to appreciate and understand the collective needs of the Tzibbur.

I think the Tzibbur and Gabbaim were a little surprised when I paused before Aleinu on Wednesday, asked for quiet, and gave a 20 second farewell speech. I explained this was my last time at the Amud and I praised the Tzibbur for their strong Amens and responses during Kedusha and Kaddish. I then thanked them for their sensitivity when making corrections. And finally I thanked them for encouraging or tolerating the speed of my davening. I also endorsed a suggestion made by the Gabbai to add two minutes to the beginning of davening for Berachos and Pesukei D’Zimra.

Davening is a very difficult and a very personal endeavor. I think most observant Jews want to improve their davening, but we’re all following different paths to get there. It’s pretty amazing that we actually daven together 3 times a day. Our differences will inevitably lead to conflicts, but reflection leads to an appreciation of the positively powerful prayer of the Tzibbur.

Ten Great Things About Praying At the Kotel

Greetings from the Holy Land. Here are 10 great things about praying at the kotel.

1. There are minyanim around the clock.

2. You’re standing right near the awesomeness of the Har Habayis.

3. The feeling of achdus as a result of davening with so many different types of Jews is palpable.

4. There are so many serious daveners around to inspire us to take our tefillah higher.

5. There is an elevated feeling of holiness there.

6. The silent Shomoneh Esrai for Mincha/Maariv is around 9 minutes, compared to about 6 minute silent Shomoneh Esrai in the states.

7. It’s much easier to observe the halacha of picturing yourself in the Holy of Holies.

8. People don’t pressure the Baal Tefillah to go faster or slower.

9. People are helpful and accommodating.

10. It’s easier learn how to get past distractions and focus on your davening.

Time, Space and Soul at the Kotel

On previous trip to Eretz Yisroel, I had the good fortune to rent an apartment in Kfar David in Mamilla, very close to the Jaffa Gate. I davened almost every Tefillah at the Kotel.

Davening at the Kotel is amazing because it’s a Minyan factory and you get to join together with all types of Jews from the four corners of the world. However, I do find it distracting at Shacharis, between the people collecting Tzedakah and the simultaneous Minyanim going on at a somewhat loud volume.

On my first Shacharis I went to the Vasikin minyan, which is at sunrise and is the best time to Daven according to the Shulchan Aruch. So here I was, at the best place-the Kotel, at the best time-sunrise, and with a great collection of Jewish souls from around the world. And to top it all off, since it was Vasikin every Minyan starts Shemoneh Esrai at the same time and the entire Kotel would be quiet together.

So I stepped into Shemoneh Esrai anticipating the sweet sound of silence, but unfortunately perfection was not to be found. There was one individual who was davening very loudly well into our Shemoneh Esrai. So there were 300 souls with the opportunity to join in Tefillah at the perfect time at the perfect place, but one person was out of step.

I decided to write three endings to this piece:

1) How does Hashem judge this situation. On the one hand the person was davening to Hashem in sincerity, but at the same time he was disturbing many other people in a situation where total quiet was a possibility.

2) I need to work more on my davening. If I really worked on it, I could daven anywhere without being distracted. Perhaps wanting or needing silence is really a deficiency in my davening.

3) We’re in Golus and even if we’re at the perfect place and the perfect time, it’s our souls that need correcting. That begins with me working on caring about this unknown individual as much before the Shemoneh Esrai as after. He’s a great Yid who made the same journey I did to daven at the perfect place and the perfect time. Even if he was mistaken in this one act, I make plenty of mistakes myself and I hope people judge me favorably.

So at the end of the day, maybe it was better that there was no silence. After all time, place and silence are external and davening is an internal act. And becoming a little more forgiving from this incident is probably more important than finding the perfect Time, Space and Soul at the Kotel.

Originally published here on February 2010

Unsafe at any Speed – Davening from the Amud

My father passed away on the 2nd day of Nissan (April 2nd), so I have been in Aveilus for a little over 2 months. Prior to that I had never davened from the Amud (led the service). In this post, we’ll look at one of the trickier parts of davening from the Amud, going at the right speed.

What makes davening speed tricky is that in any given minyan, there will be people who prefer a slower davening and those who like their prayer a little faster. In addition, not everybody has the ability to daven fast, so it may be difficult for a person to meet the minyan’s speed requirement.

I think I’m getting faster, but currently I daven about 1-3 minutes slower than the average Mincha or Maariv in my neighborhood. In my own Shul, I’ll take the amud and the members seem to be willing to put up with my minor speed deficiency. Another consideration that comes in to play here, and at any minyan where the Shul’s Rabbi is davening, is to make sure that you finish your silent Shemoneh Esrai before, or concurrently, with the Rabbi. I daven faster in these situations because I don’t want to see the Rav taking 3 steps back, while I’m still in Shema Koleinu.

Shacharis is more difficult because people have to get to work, so there’s more of a pressure to go faster. I daven weekdays at a Neitz minyan which is currently starting at 5:00 AM and ending on Tuesdays Wednesdays and Fridays at 5:45 AM. Nonetheless there are people at that time who still want the Baal Tefilah to go as fast as possible. This minyan also has a number of “take-it-very-seriously” daveners, so there is a contingent of “go slower”s. I haven’t davened from the amud there yet, but I plan to in the upcoming months.

I should point out that nobody has said anything to me about the speed of my davening, nor have I heard anybody utter a “Nu”. If anything people, have encouraged me to daven from the Amud. Nevertheless, I do feel that when davening from the amud one should try to daven at a speed that’s acceptable to the majority.

Life in the Fast Lein – Is there a Speed Limit?

Much of Shul Politics revolves around resolving conflicting needs among members. Last week I was one of the conflicted parties, but as it turned out, the resolution lay in my court. Let’s take a look at this week’s issue.

As most of you know, there is a halacha in the Shulchan Orach (Section 285) called Shnayim Mikra V’echad Targum, which requires us to read the weekly parsha twice in Hebrew, and once with a translation or explanation. One is allowed to read the Shenayim Mikra along with the Baal Koreh during Torah reading, word by word, and fulfill one’s obligation. Some say that this is Lechatchila (ideal) (Aruch HaShulchan 285:3), while others hold that this is only for Shas HaDachak (when absolutely necessary).

I usually read along very quietly with the Baal Koreh to fulfill one of my reading obligations. This past week was the parsha of the Tochacha (curses) and there is a custom that the Baal Koreh gets that aliyah and he reads faster than normal. As it happened the very talented Baal Koreh was able to read it so fast, with clarity, that I could not keep up and do my Shanyim Mikra during that long Aliyah. It became clear that this was my problem, and the Baalei Koreh had no obligation to slow it down for my Shanyim Mikra needs.

This week, I asked some friends if there should be a leining speed limit. Some felt that as long as the words were pronounced correctly, with the right trope, there was no speed limit. Others felt that there seemed to be a speed, beyond which the leining was not respectful. Another friend pointed out that since there is an aspect of learning involved in the kriah, it seems a person should be able to process that which he hears, and too fast a speed would make that difficult.

I asked my Rav, and he said there definitely was a speed which was too fast. For one thing, the mispallim (shul members) have to be able to follow the leining. Secondly, the person called up for the Aliyah needs to read along quietly with the Baal Koreh. However, there is no need to slow down for the Shnayim Mikra-niks like myself. As to how fast is too fast, that is a judgment call of the Gabbai and the Rav of the Shul.

The Guest Chazzan From The Rear

It was a wonderful Pesach in Shul, nice davening, good learning and a great time to spend with friends and family. The guests provided us will many wonderful Baalei Tefillah and we all benefited from their inspirational davening. Of course people are not perfect and we were provided with some growth opportunities over the course of Yom Tov.

One growth opportunity occurred when one of the guests, who has a fine voice, added some chazzanus flourish to his davening from the rear of the Shul. Shuls do not usually have rules on how loud you can daven or whether there are chazzanus limitations, so no rules were broken here, it just took away from the Baalei Tefillah leading the service. Of course, nobody said anything, although a few people glanced back to check out the identity of the back-of-the-shul Chazzan.

Personally I tried to recall the To Be or Not To Be Annoyed post I had written and worked on getting over this minor disturbance. At the end of the day I was able to enjoy the Chazaras HaShas and the Hallel of the Chazzan. Later that day I was reading a sefer and the author made the point that challenges give us the opportunity to grow, which gives us a little perspective on issues like this.

Shuls aren’t perfect, people aren’t perfect and we’re not perfect, but by dealing properly with challenges and annoyances we move step by tiny step closer to a more perfect existence.

Clarity at the Kotel – Getting Shuls Right

A Trip to Israel
I just got back from a trip to visit my son in Israel, where we had the good fortune to rent a small apartment in David’s Village, right across from the Mamilla Mall outside the Jaffa Gate. Although it can be a little disconcerting moving from the spiritually charged Kotel, to the high-fashion materialistically minded mall, the take-out coffee and gluten-free rolls at Aroma, now with a wonderful hechsher, helped ease the pain.

I davened as much as possible at the Kotel, except for a few sunrise Shacharis(es) at the magnificent Hurva Synagogue. Davening at the Kotel provided some clarity on three issues regarding Shuls:
1. The essence of a Shul is the davening
2. The Shemoneh Esrai start is the time that counts
3. Connecting to Hashem is our unifying principle

The essence of a Shul is the davening
When you’re at the Kotel, with the continuous minyanim, it becomes clear that the essential purpose of a congregation is to daven together to Hashem. This is what the Beis HaMikdash itself was all about and our shuls are our current day substitute. Although Shuls, primarily outside of Israel, perform many communal functions, at its core, a Shul is a place to pray.

The Shemoneh Esrai start is the time that counts
As many readers of this site know, starting Shemoneh Esrai at sunrise is the best time. Inside the tunnel at the Kotel, there were at least 4 minyanim, davening at different paces, volumes and nusachim. However when sunrise comes the entire place gets quiet as everybody starts Shemoneh Esrai together. Although Shuls often discuss when to start, when to finish, and how fast to go, we see that the essential time is when we start Shemoneh Esrai together, whether it’s at sunrise or not. If you want to daven slower you can come earlier or stay later, but davening with the Tzibbur, means starting Shemoneh Esrai together.

Connecting to Hashem is our unifying principle
Minyanim are continuously forming at the Kotel. It begins with a call for Mincha or Maariv and when 10 men have gathered, the sound of Ashrei, Shir Hamalos or Borechu is heard. When gathering the men, nobody cares what they do, peyos or not, or the covering on the head. When 10 men gather to pray to Hashem, at the holiest place in the world, that’s all that matters.

To me, this is the greatest clarity lesson, collectively connecting to Hashem is what truly unifies us, and helps us, the Jewish people, accomplish our worldly mission.

Dilemmas of Air Travel Davening

I’m in the Holy Land and I’ll post about the amazing the Shuls and minyanim there in future weeks. Today I’ll discuss air travel davening dilemmas .

It started in JFK International at the gate. Our flight was for 6:00 pm and I saw a Mincha minyan at the gate with tentative plans for a right-after-sunset, Maariv. However, because boarding began, the Maariv never got off the ground. So I was faced with the classic plane davening dilemma, with a minyan or at you seat.

Among Ashkenazi poskim, the default seems to be to daven by yourself at your seat, so as not to disturb the crew or the passengers. However in this particular situation, I asked a steward if we could make a minyan in the middle galley. I said if it’s a problem, we wouldn’t do it. He said if we would wait until after dinner and didn’t block the aisle we could daven with aminyan. It worked out we and we made the Maariv with a minyan, despite a little turbulence during Shemoneh Esrai.

Shacharis on the plane was complicated by putting on Talis and Tefillin in a small space, and by the fact that there was a small time window starting from about 1:30 AM New York time within which to daven Shacharis. (If you’re travelling, you can go to myzmanim.comto see the davening times for your flight.) I decided to daven alone at my seat, but later in the flight there was a Shacharis minyan on the plane. It looked like it was uneventful and not disturbing to the passengers.

If you usually try to daven with a minyan, road trips can be a challenge. You need to carefully evaluate the situation to decided when to go it alone.

Addressing the Distractions of Our Phones in Our Shuls and Prayers

“All of life is a challenge of not being distracted from the greatness that we are” – Rabbi Yitzchok Kirzner zt”l

Last week, we discussed some of the issues regarding mobile phone usage in Shuls. In this post we’ll look at some obstacles and strategies.

I think the obstacles can be broken down as:
1) Davening is hard, so we accept minimal personal performance levels
2) Mobile phones are distracting us at new levels
3) Lack of focus on the activity of prayer, leads to desensitization to the place of prayer
Let’s look at them one by one.

In a prior post titled, Judaism’s Little Secret – It’s Hard to Pray, we discussed some of the reasons davening is hard. As a result of this difficulty, many people set minimal kavanna levels as their personal norm. In some cases it’s the level they reached in high school. To address this, we need our leaders, teachers and lay people to discuss moving towards a growth mindset regard prayer. Briefly this means that we can all improve our concentration levels over time, if we work on it. As we gradually grow, we can improve the effect our prayers have on ourselves and the world around us.

Distractions were not invented in the 20th or 21st centuries, but our technological progress from television to the Internet to mobile phones has elevated them to a new level. When I recently mention to a friend, that a study found that the average person looks at their phone 150 times a day, he replied that 300-500 seems like a more accurate range to him. In addition to its functionality and mobility form factor, the phone is so distracting because it really does talk to us. All these incoming calls, texts and emails are from people and organizations with whom we have some connection and this “personal” attention is addicting and extremely distracting.

At its extremes, these distraction have led to the sad phenomena of half-Shabbos, where teens desecrate the Shabbos to respond to their texting addictions. Luckily, most observant Jews have not crossed that line and the Shabbos does give us a respite from our phone distractions. But we would probably greatly benefit if we put the phone down more often, to pay more attention to the task or person with whom we’re currently connecting. Shutting the phone off during Shacharis, Mincha and Maariv gives us an opportunity to reduce the distractions and it’s a step towards the healthy goal of setting aside the phone for other extended periods during our day.

If our prayer is on half-throttle, then it’s no surprise that the place of prayer is taking a hit. Our communities have made great strides over the years in reducing talking in Shul, but our increasing phone usage shows that perhaps those improvements were more for the benefit of our neighbors than for Hashem and His House. I think the goal here is gradual growth and sensitization to what an awesome place the Shul really is. We understand Shabbos as holiness in time and we most focus on the Shul as our primary remnant of holiness in place.

I think we need education, awareness, commitment and continual growth to address these problems. I don’t think “No phone” signs address the real issues which are improving our prayer, reducing our distracting levels and sensitizing ourselves to the awesomeness of our Shuls. The process starts inside each of us, with a personal commitment and a small step improvement, and then we can start moving collectively to building a Mikdash, where Hashem can dwell.